Valley Perspective : Watch Out for Subliminal Messages From on High : At first, the billboards for expensive timepieces hovering over a working-class area seemed like a tease. But maybe they’re a sign of better things to come.

Driving north on Van Nuys Boulevard a few weeks ago, I was returning from my first audition in several months. It had not gone well. I began visualizing my New Year’s resolution, “Better Than ‘95,” when I saw it towering above the street as I approached Nordhoff. Then there it was again, this time on Nordhoff facing east, high above a video store. I was outraged! Who was responsible for this indecency? What irresponsible person and or persons had perpetrated this cruel act upon the other drivers and me?

I want names! Get my councilman on his cellular phone!

Plastered on not one but two billboards were advertisements for Bulova watches.

Three days after my Christmas bills had come ringing in, which was the same day my temp job, promised through June, had come to an abrupt end, I was being teased by a fancy Swiss watch company advertising for a product I could not afford.

Shouldn’t they be farther west, say in Encino or Tarzana? What are they doing in my backyard?

What was even more humiliating was that I could have used a new watch. My 10-year-old Timex had taken so many lickings it needed a pacemaker. The face was badly scratched. The date was two days off (but will correct itself, temporarily, since it’s a leap year). And it needed a new band.

But I couldn’t afford a Bulova. It’s no Rolex, but it’s definitely no Mickey Mouse. My wife, who owns several watches to match her style of dress, says that I’m cheap. She’s right, but she’s wrong. My reason for not having replaced my watch is simple: priorities. I could go out and buy fine luxury items tomorrow, but I’d look pretty silly offering our mortgage lender a ride in my Porsche instead of a payment. Besides, a Porsche, much like the Bulova ads, would look out of place in my neighborhood.

Amid signs offering discounts, bargains, low prices and free membership, these ads looked like tuxedos in a sea of denim. I’m used to seeing early-model Toyotas with bumper stickers in Spanish on the streets in my area, and I’ve also come to expect ads for cigarettes, alcoholic beverages and, lately, gentlemen’s clubs on the billboards.

So how did these ads end up in my backyard? And how do I get them removed?

Neighbors in Chatsworth were successful in getting a billboard advertisement for a North Hollywood strip club removed. The ad, featuring a scantily clad woman, was visible to children traveling to and from school. Apparently some of the boys were arriving a little late.

I took my complaint to the owner of the billboard, Eller Media Co., formerly Patrick Media Group, the largest outdoor advertising company in California. I was referred to Sylvia Castillo, the public affairs representative. “Why do you want them removed?” she asked. “I can’t afford the watch,” I said. “That’s not a good enough reason,” she replied. “They’re naked?” I said. No response.

And as to how they ended up in my neighborhood, I spoke with Robert Wilson, Southern California regional marketing manager for Eller. He told me that “advertisers place ads in proximity to their retailers.” In this case, it was the two companies listed on the boards, Prime Time Watch and La Curacao, both in the Panorama City Mall.

My outrage turned to curiosity: If Bulova advertises in this area, maybe these watches aren’t as expensive as I think.

With an open mind and a slightly closed checkbook, I visited La Curacao. Its Bulovas ranged from $120 to $500 for a 14-karat treasure. However, tucked in the corner of the display case was a Bulova clock about five inches tall with a picture of the Virgin Mary on the face. At $69.95 it was a steal. (If thou stole, but thou does not steal, because stealing is a sin.)

At Prime Time Watch the young man behind the counter showed me his selection of Bulovas, which started at $150. He said they didn’t sell a lot of the watches because “people around here don’t wanna spend that kind of money on a watch.” Priorities, I wanted to say. You know, groceries, diapers, 8-by-10 black-and-white glossies.

Finally, I settled on a purchase. I laid my Timex down on the counter and said “Give me a new one.” He asked, “You want a Bulova?” I said: “No. A band. Put a new band on my watch.”

At $14.95 that was a steal. Hail Mary full of grace . . .

I drove home, again heading north on Van Nuys. As I reached Nordhoff I looked up at the billboards and smiled. My outrage took on a philosophical tone. Perhaps Bulova knows something I don’t. Like ’96 is really going to be “Better Than ’95.” I visualized doing better at my next audition. Then I visualized a new list of priorities.