You Can’t Have Too Much Self-Esteem

Re “Too Much of a Good Thing Can Lead to Trouble” (March 4): For eight years, I taught self-esteem at Pierce College in a federally funded program for adults in transition, such as displaced homemakers and single parents, and I definitely disagree that you can have too much self-esteem. The traits described in your article fit the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Criteria for narcissistic personality disorder.

Very often a person or a group with low self-esteem will be completely captivated by this type of individual and will reinforce the traits by over-idealization. Time and time again, both in my private practice and in the classes, I would find that as my clients and students raised their self-esteem they left abusive relationships, took care of themselves and were not so easily taken in by pseudo self-esteem.

As we know from the tabloids, it is not unusual for movie stars, sports figures, politicians, the rich and powerful, even royalty, who are so idolized in our society, to come crashing down, because underneath all the fame and talent is low self-esteem.

No, I disagree, you cannot have too much self-esteem, but you can have a great defense mechanism to cover up vulnerability and low self-esteem that can fool a lot of people--and sometimes yourself.

SYLVIA MARTIN

Sherman Oaks