A contest you can win in your...
A contest you can win in your sleep:
Glendale Adventist Medical Center is holding a snoring contest--the winner of which will be offered a free chance to be cured of that noisy talent.
And, no, you don’t have to perform at the hospital. Entrants need only send audio or videotapes before June 1 to Glendale Adventist’s Sleep Disorder Center, 1509 Wilson Terrace, Glendale, 91206.
A panel of wide-awake judges will determine the loudest snorer.
“Last year’s winner really rattled the walls,” recalled Kathy Cavander of the Sleep Disorder Center, who added that the 1995 snoring champ has been cured of his problem.
A happy ending--even if the guy is a lawyer.
SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING FROM FREDERICK’S OF TEXAS: Parisa by Amir of Van Nuys will display what it calls the largest bra in the world at a lingerie show at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas April 15 to 17. The bra will measure “approximately eight feet across in a closed position,” the company said, “approximately 16 1/2 feet in an open position and measure approximately four feet high from the bottom to the top of the cup, not including the strap.”
Imagine the snoring potential of the creature who could wear that bra.
HEADS UP: As a public service, Only in L.A. is publishing a warning sign for baseball fans that Jay Berman of Manhattan Beach snapped (see photo). The sign is stationed outside the ballpark of the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes, but the message is pertinent for all spectators--especially now, early in the season, when reflexes tend to be a bit rusty. After all, most fans don’t go to spring training.
FORFEITURE SALE? Blain Skinner of Inglewood wonders if one Torrance sporting goods store is taking no chances in view of the investigation into a possible academic scandal at USC--a scandal that could cause a forfeit of USC’s Rose Bowl win. Skinner noticed that USC Rose Bowl sweatshirts and polo shirts are marked “Clearance.”
LANGUAGE, PLEASE! Jack Wexler of Westchester had to laugh at the frank offer on his ticket, even if it was perfectly innocent. He had purchased it to see “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” at the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center (see excerpt). The portion that was torn off, Wexler adds, stated: “Whorehouse--Price $100 Season.”
TOUGHEST MOUSE HOUSE IN CALIFORNIA: When we received the latest newsletter from quake-damaged North Hollywood Presbyterian Church, we smelled an April Fools’ joke. The very idea--Disney supposedly agreeing to build a $50-million, 2,500-seat complex. The tip-off was the claim by editor Gil Chesterton that the church had agreed to a startling demand--replacing its cross with a statue of Mickey Mouse. Ridiculous.
Now, as for Anaheim Stadium being ordered to display that statue. . .
miscelLAny
The clock in Mayor Richard Riordan’s scheduling office, of all places, is stopped, a colleague of ours noticed. But at least she didn’t hear anyone snoring.