The Daily Gouge

Those wishing to cool down outside Atlanta’s Centennial Park could buy gelatin-filled bandannas that supposedly freeze around your neck.

At $10 per wet cloth.

“You know, that does sound like a lot, doesn’t it?” said a vendor named Lawrence. “I think I’m going to ask permission to lower the price.”

As he spoke, he touched the sample cloth around his neck, which was dry and hot.

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The gouges are starting to go away.

Case in point: Atlanta Underground, a shopping and entertainment mall that had planned to start the Olympic period charging $5 merely to enter, backed off Sunday. Now, visitors can enter free, where, once inside, they will be available to be gouged.