BACK TO THE FUTURE? : Houston Making Texas-Size Bid for 2008, but These Guys Love L.A.

I am not sure why anybody would want to have an Olympic Games after this, but “Mattress Mac” is pulling out all the stops.

He is dying to bring the 2008 Summer Olympics to his city, Houston. His real name is Jim McIngvale, and he runs a furniture store. As soon as Centennial Olympic Park reopened for business Tuesday morning, so did “Texas 2008,” the office suite Mattress Mac opened there, the one with the longhorn steer skulls on the wall.

Late last Friday night, Mac threw a party.

Larry Hagman came. The actor wore a cowboy hat and had a saddlebag with a “J.R.” monogram, reminiscent of his “Dallas” television show. The leader of Sweden’s delegation ran downstairs from his own office, because he heard J.R. was there. Hagman was asked how much he would like to see the Olympics come to Texas in 2008. Hagman, who recently underwent a liver transplant, replied, “I would love to be anywhere in 2008.”

Nearly 300 guests turned out. Carl Lewis came. The track star and Houston resident said Mattress Mac was doing all the right things. Dan O’Brien, the decathlete, was also there. So was Lee P. Brown, the former Houston police chief and federal drug czar, who is McIngvale’s partner in Texas 2008. So far, Mac has spent at least $250,000, part of it on the party.

It broke up a half-hour before the Centennial Park bomb went off.

A few blocks away, Brown loaned a credit card to a police officer, who needed one to make a phone call. Brown felt lucky, having left the park just before the blast. He has always felt lucky.

“I was on Flight 800 to Paris, a couple of years ago,” he said.

Luck is what Houston will need, if it is to become the United States’ official nominee as host city for the 2008 Olympics. For one thing, Boston, Cincinnati, Chicago, New York and Seattle have also thrown their hats into the Olympic ring. For another, after the disorganization and destruction in Atlanta, now isn’t a good time to pitch the International Olympic Committee on what a swell place your town is.

Then, there are other factors.

The IOC and USOC committee members I have spoken to generally agree that 2012 is a more likely year for the Summer Olympics to return to the United States.

They also agree that, if Los Angeles asks to be considered--as it probably will--the fact that L.A. knows how to run an Olympics will work very much in its favor.

So, Mattress Mac has to deal with that.

Oh, and one more thing:

“This guy isn’t running Houston’s bid,” U.S. Olympic spokesman Mike Moran pointed out. “He may think he is, but he’s not. He’s supposed to be here ‘wooing’ the IOC, but first he’s got to woo us. We’ve never even spoken to him.”

There are split factions in Houston, and the so-called Texas 2008 organization has broken off from City Councilman John Kelley, who, aside from being Mary Lou Retton’s father-in-law, is the man who has the official support of Mayor Bob Lanier, Judge Robert Eckels and members of the Texas legislature whose endorsements appear in “Houston: A Candidate City for the 21st Century” literature being distributed here.

Let’s look at the big picture, an Olympiad at a time.

(And, for those who continue to abuse the word, an Olympiad is the four-year period between Games, not the two-week period of actual competition.)

THE NEXT THREE SUCKERS

(I MEAN OLYMPIC HOSTS)

Three cities have been awarded future Olympic Games--Nagano, Japan (1998 Winter), Sydney, Australia (2000 Summer) and Salt Lake City (2002 Winter).

I know Salt Lakers must already be anxious. One of Utah’s largest taxpayers, basketball player Karl Malone, was among the first athletes in Atlanta to put his family on a plane and send it home after the bomb went off.

But security isn’t so difficult to provide at a Winter Olympics, where you have fewer sports and generally less craziness. OK, so you have to peek under people’s earmuffs, frisk long underwear. Other than that . . .

Sydney already is planning to heavily increase security, based on what happened here. According to Michael Knight, Australia’s minister for the Olympics, “No one can guard against every lunatic that may be out there, but nobody wants Sydney to be turned into an armed fortress. What we can do is reduce the risk as much as possible but still give people an enjoyable experience.”

Good luck, mate.

It has to be more enjoyable than Georgia, or, as it will soon be known on its license plates, The Bomb Scare State. They don’t vacuum buildings here, they evacuate them. I have it written in my daily diary: 8 a.m.: Brush teeth. 8:15: Breakfast. 8:30 Bomb threat. 8:45: Return to breakfast.

THE RACE FOR 2004

(OR, HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE BOMB)

Believe it or not, 10 international cities still want the Olympics.

I would think at this point, they would rather have an outbreak of mad cow disease. Having the Olympics is like waxing your kitchen floor and then telling 5 million people: “Wipe your feet.” Next thing you know, there are muddy footprints on your floor, and somebody’s stolen the toaster.

Nevertheless, here are the ones going for ‘04:

Rio de Janeiro. Buenos Aires. (There has never been one in South America.) Capetown. (Never been one in Africa, either.) Stockholm. Rome. (Each has had one, Stockholm in 1912, Rome in 1960.) Athens. (None since the modern original, 1896.) St. Petersburg. (Russia had one in 1980, but certain people didn’t show up.) Istanbul. (Never had one.) Lille, which is just outside Paris. (The 1900 and 1924 site.)

And, 10th but not least, San Juan, Puerto Rico, which, as its data in Atlanta’s crack “Info ‘96” computer system reminds me, has a population of 437,000, larger than Atlanta’s.

Personally, I would like an island Olympics. It’s a whole lot easier sitting through Greco-Roman wrestling if you’re holding a banana daiquiri, trust me.

The favorite, as I understand it, is Rome. (Where, by the way, they will probably eliminate the Greco wrestling.) I am told the IOC already knows its “final four,” and my best guess would be: Rome, Stockholm, Capetown, Lille.

I feel really bad for Greece. (Where, by the way, they would probably eliminate the Roman wrestling.) I spent time there in April, and the Greeks have gotten over losing the 1996 Games. I assume after viewing Atlanta, they must be the happiest Greeks ever.

St. Petersburg?

Well, when the Goodwill Games were there, let’s see, the water in the swimming pool was greenish-black, the Swedes refused to swim in it, the Americans said it looked like dishwashing liquid and the ice in the skating rink melted, although I believe the ice wasn’t greenish-black. On the other hand, the buses ran on time. Which makes the score St. Pete 1, Atlanta 1 at the end of one inning.

THE NEXT U.S. VICTIM

(I MEAN HOST CITY)

OK, first things first.

Los Angeles, you want it, you can have it. That’s my thinking. Anita DeFrantz, one of three Americans on the international committee and L.A.’s own, says the IOC will not dismiss lightly after this the fact that Los Angeles knows what it’s doing.

Or, as the USOC’s Moran put it, “L.A. has the clothing. We already know that it fits.”

John Argue, a lawyer whose father helped lure the 1932 Games that put L.A. on the map, had “L.A. 2004” pins made up to launch a new bid. But as soon as Atlanta got 1996, that idea was abandoned.

(Footnote: People often forget that the 1984 Olympics might have been awarded to Tehran, had the Shah of Iran not been deposed. True story. I forget what happened after that, although I believe the Shah opened a furniture store in Houston.)

New York will soon try a Goodwill Games, see how that goes. Chicago finally has facilities built after the Depression, and will build one more. Seattle, I can see. Cincinnati, I am trying to picture. Boston, well, you can get there from Europe inexpensively, by canoe or kayak.

Houston?

“Did you know that Houston:

“Is home to more than 3.7 million people . . . ?

“Is the fourth-largest city in the nation . . . ?

“Is home to residents from virtually every corner of the world . . . ?

“Is home to world-famous institutions such as the National Aeronautical and Space Administration and the world’s first indoor stadium, the Astrodome . . . ?”

No, I didn’t! (OK, yes, I did.) Not until I read Houston’s literature here. And I am very impressed, particularly with the fact that Houston has residents from virtually every corner of the world, whereas Los Angeles and Atlanta, as you know, have residents only from three of the four corners.

Bob Lanier, who is mayor and not the basketball player with the size-24 feet, writes, “I pledge our full cooperation and support of this effort.” Atta boy, Bob.

Same goes for Judge Eckels, who heard the Centennial Park explosion from his hotel room. The next day he said, “I don’t think we’d let what happened in Atlanta stop us from having Fourth of July celebrations, football games or rodeos in Houston. We’re not willing to give up things we enjoy.”

So, the bid goes on.

And so does the one run by Mattress Mac McIngvale, whose office here is full of his company’s furniture. On the wall are old Texas license plates, plus the rodeo kill. There are hand fans in the shape of Texas, with writing on the back that reads: “We Can Beat the Heat. Texas 2008.”

“We wanted to have a hook to bring ‘em in,” Mac said.

The bomb, well, that was awful. But neither Mattress Mac nor Lee P. Brown is deterred.

“This is not a church picnic,” Brown said, “but it can be done.”

Good luck, pardners.

I would gladly go to Houston in 2008. But, you know me. I would go anywhere in 2008, as long as I’m home by 2012.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

Olympic Hopefuls

The 10 cities making bids for the 2004 Summer Olympics (winner to be announced in 1997):

* Athens

* Buenos Aires

* Capetown, South Africa

* Istanbul, Turkey

* Lille, France

* Rio de Janeiro

* Rome

* St. Petersburg, Russia

* San Juan, Puerto Rico

* Stockholm

The six U.S. cities seeking the 2008 Summer Olympics:

* Boston

* Chicago

* Cincinnati

* Houston

* New York

* Seattle

Note: These cities have begun negotiations with U.S. Olympic Committee to be the U.S. nomination to the International Olympic Committee. Others may follow. The U.S. nominee is to be named in 1999. Host site of 2008 Olympics to be announced in 2001.