Downsizing of the American Dream

Downsizing can be fun!

If you’re reading about it, that is, specifically “Downsize This!” (Crown), Michael Moore’s acerbically funny look at corporate America’s favorite diet plan, among other hair-raising aspects of the times.

You remember Moore as the dean of the Ripley’s-Believe-It-Or-Not school of documentaries. He’s the filmmaker behind “Roger & Me” (1989), which accused General Motors of firing 30,000 workers at a time of record profits. In the same spirit, Moore brings his working-class je ne sais quoi to this satirical look at all things American.

On corporate guidelines for handling hysteria, quoted from actual memos:

“Both men and women are capable of overreacting to news of their termination. For terminated people who begin to cry after hearing the news, have a glass of water handy.”

On waking up from the American Dream:

“For those of you too young to have ever experienced it, this is what it used to be: If you work hard, and your company prospers, you, too, shall prosper. That dream has gone up in smoke. It has been turned into the American Bad Dream: If you work hard, and the company prospers--you lose your job!”

On waking up from California dreaming:

“A friend of mine says everything bad in the country comes from California. And he doesn’t mean the earthquakes, fires, floods and riots. His list is long and impressive: Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, all the major defense contractors, Disneyland, the John Birch Society, Congressman Bob Dornan, the anti-immigrant movement (Proposition 187), Proposition 13, the anti-tax initiative, the Mighty Ducks, Charles Manson.”

On Moore’s forbidden love for Hillary Clinton:

“Hillary Clinton wanted to spend her time making sure we have access to decent health care. But what did we get? A bunch of men whining about how she ran the health care meetings. Big deal. I think for them her only problem was that she was the proud owner of two ovaries.”

On suggestions for new names to spiff up America’s image:

“The Big One. Short, to the point. ‘Where you from?’ ‘I’M FROM THE BIG ONE!’ Nobody messes with you then.” . . . Land o’ Sex. Sex sells. Will make everyone sorry they don’t live here. Could cause even greater influx of illegal aliens. . . . Americapalooza. Baby boomers won’t understand this one, but they’ll be dead soon, anyway.”