Multicultural Manners : Through the Eyes of the Dead

Many mourners gather to pay their last respects and view the body at the funeral of a well-known Los Angeles Chinese architect. Observing the deceased, Paula, a friend, comments to her neighbor Joanne, “He looks different without his glasses.”

Surprised, Joanne replies, “You never put glasses on the dead. You’re supposed to place the folded glasses in his pocket. The old belief is that he might otherwise return to this world, and regardless of whether we believe that, we follow the custom.”

But Paula has participated in funeral arrangements for several family members, and those who wore glasses in life also wore them in their open caskets.

Both Paula and Joanne are of Chinese ancestry, but they have opposing ideas about this custom.

What does it mean?

Within a culture, people rarely practice and intepret traditions uniformly, and China’s huge and varied population leads to many variations.

In most countries, regional differences may cause variations. Families individualize customs and rituals, too, sometimes causing complications for newlyweds. For example, some families open gifts on Christmas Eve, while others unwrap them on Christmas morning. New couples may have conflicts over differing gift-opening rituals.

One folklorist tells about family differences causing an argument when her newlywed husband developed a sore throat. She insisted on placing a cold wet towel around his neck to ease the discomfort. Her husband was adamantly opposed. His mother had taught him that the towel should be hot. Although they both used wet towels to relieve pain, they required opposite temperatures.