L.A. is insulted again:OK, fine. Staples Inc....
L.A. is insulted again:
OK, fine. Staples Inc. and the NFL have instituted a drawing in which one high school in the nation will be given a $5,000 gift certificate each week. It’s the accompanying prize that bothers us: “The school also will receive a visit from the head coach of their local NFL team.”
If an L.A. school wins, maybe we can borrow the coach from Oakland.
HONEST, OFFICER, I WAS ONLY GOING 8 1/2: As if driving in the Southland isn’t difficult enough, there are areas where you practically have to read your speedometer with a magnifying glass to make sure you’re complying with the law. Check out these unusual speed limits found over the last year by Bob Hill of Pasadena (9 1/2 mph), Boris Raynes of Palos Verdes Estates (17.3 mph) and Tom McGarry of Redondo Beach (27 mph).
DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT A PET: Clifford Hodgins writes in Avenues, the Auto Club’s publication, that he, his wife, Cyndi, and cat, Mifi, were heading this way from Las Vegas when their car pooped out in 100-plus degree weather on I-15.
They phoned for help. But, while they waited, the only liquid they had was “a rapidly heating can of cola,” and Mifi began panting and looking sickly. “Having heard tales of deranged serial murderers stalking the highways for innocent prey,” Hodgins says, he was afraid to flag down a fellow motorist.
Suddenly a car swerved across two lanes of traffic and stopped behind them. A woman emerged --”designer bottle in hand”--and said: “I saw your pet cage. I normally wouldn’t have stopped to help, but I couldn’t pass by a kitty in distress.”
WEIRDOS NEED NOT RESPOND: Halloween isn’t over for everyone, judging from this singles ad that appeared in the weekly New Times newspaper:
“SWF seeks androgynous, Bowiesque vampire for graveyard scenes. Be beautiful, articulate, gentleman of substance. I’m a petite woman on a spiritual pilgrimage. . . .”
miscelLAny:
Carlton Goss of Rancho Palos Verdes noticed that nestled among the mortuary / crematory ads on one page of the GTE South Bay yellow pages is a blurb that begins: “AQMD Clean Air Tip: Fire your barbecue in a ‘clean air’ way.” Not that it would matter to any androgynous vampires.
