Children Find Outlet for Pain Through Art

The worst part about living with both his mom and dad was the fighting.

The 12-year-old boy said the noise would wake him up and scare him. But he didn’t talk about how his dad tried to run his mom over with a car or how he hit her or choked her, incidents his mother related later.

Instead, he painted a three-scene picture that told about him witnessing domestic violence.

One scene is a landscape of a city--quiet and calm--but with a time bomb waiting to explode. The bomb explodes in the next scene, but then everyone appears happy in the final scene.

“It’s about how everything wasn’t real bad,” said the child, whose mother wanted him to remain anonymous. “But it was like there was a time bomb ticking and then it went off. Then there was the rebuilding and everyone says they’re sorry and everything gets back to normal.”

This is the cycle of violence that dictates the lives of many women and children. This is the cycle of violence that children from Interface Domestic Violence Services have dealt with so closely that counselors say it will probably affect the rest of their lives.

But rather than dwell on the abuse they have witnessed, these children are encouraged to work through their anger, relieve their stress and make positive adjustments.

One of the ways Interface encourages children to deal with domestic violence is to work it out through art.

Interface will present an exhibit of artwork today created by children whose mothers are in the agency’s shelter or attending support groups. The display will be at Camarillo Premium Outlets, in front of the food hall, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

“Children are the unseen victims of domestic violence,” said Teri Rayley, chairwoman of the Interface Women’s Advocacy Council. “When abuse is seen through the child’s eyes it gives you a different and broader perspective of the effects of domestic violence.”

Interface not only has a shelter for women and children but offers counseling services for each.

Children are encouraged to work out feelings about domestic violence through puppets, games, artwork and discussions. “I like talking about how to get rid of my anger,” said the 12-year-old. He also likes that his mother has moved away from his dad.

“We had no friends where we used to live and nothing to do,” he said. “Here we ride bikes and roller-blade and go to the park.”

His mother, like many other women, was not aware that she was in an abusive situation until it became violent.

“I was trying so hard to keep my head above the water that I didn’t realize it was my husband that had his foot on my head,” said the mother, who asked to remain anonymous out of fear of retaliation from the children’s father.

“He used to say the only way I was going to leave was with a bullet in my head,” she said.

But now that she has left her husband and moved back with her family, the woman feels her life is again on the right track. “The best year of my life was 1996 because I started going to groups and learning about me and understanding why I made the choices I did,” she said.

“Now I know I didn’t have to keep that dirty little secret called domestic violence,” she said.

To contact Interface Domestic Violence Services, call 485-6114.