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Things that go bump in Long Beach:We...

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Things that go bump in Long Beach:

We delayed bringing you this story because we didn’t want to alarm the populace. It seems that a listener phoned the syndicated radio show of Art Bell a while back and gave a third-hand report that a UFO had dropped a green 1952 Chevrolet onto an intersection in Long Beach.

The caller didn’t say why a UFO would do this. Because it would be useless to advertise the jalopy in the Penny Saver? Or were the UFOs aiming for Long Beach’s Roswell Avenue, the street with the same name as the New Mexico town in which some UFOs allegedly landed in 1947?

Whatever, the topic was hotly debated for several hours on Bell’s show, heard locally on KABC-AM (790) from midnight to 4 a.m.

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Bell told us Monday that his informant “seemed to believe” the story but the talk-show host added that he receives “some strange calls.”

Local authorities say there’s no evidence of such a crash. (Of course, what would you expect them to say?)

In any event, it’s the best urban folk tale we’ve heard since the summer 1994 yarn about a backseat ghost who was warning drivers on Pacific Coast Highway that an earthquake was about to hit.

The UFO/Chevy sighting was announced on Bell’s show Feb. 13. We figure it’s safe to talk about it now.

There hasn’t been another report of a UFO car drop since. Not even in the Norwalk community of Studebaker.

BARKING UP THE WRONG FAULT? A more recent guest on Bell’s show was geologist Jim Berkland, who has also made news in L.A in the past.

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Berkland claims that he can predict when earthquakes are going to strike Southern California.

And, no, he doesn’t listen to backseat ghosts.

How silly.

Berkland says quakes occur here when there are an unusually large number of lost-pet notices in The Times.

So, please, lock up your animals!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: A while back, Bill Gelband of Downey sent us a picture of an unappetizing sign in a local hospital.

Since the sign was featured in this column, it has been revised (see dueling photos).

Only in L.A.--working for a better America.

DON’T CALL HOME: It is not uncommon to see an outraged driver give another motorist a one-finger salute. A Times poll once found that better than one out of every three drivers admitted to having made an “indecent gesture” on the roadway in the previous year.

Now, Dan Olincy of L.A. wants to start a new custom.

“We should give a four-finger salute (thumb clenched) to other drivers who are talking on their car phones,” he said.

“The four fingers would refer to the fact that the phoners are four times as likely to get into accidents.”

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And you wouldn’t have to worry about getting a one-finger gesture in return. Drivers yakking on the gadgets don’t have an extra hand for that maneuver. Or for signaling before they make turns, either.

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Good news for well-fed college grads and dropouts! A message on the side of trucks belonging to Starving Students, Inc., says that the company is an equal-opportunity employer. “We employ students as well as other qualified applicants,” it says.

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