Cigarettes Today, Burgers Tomorrow
It’s just a question of time. Since heart disease is the greatest killer and high cholesterol is the leading cause of heart disease, some day soon there will be a class-action suit against McDonald’s and the entire fast-food industry. Someone will claim that McDonald’s is to blame for that terminal condition. There have been no health warnings on their hamburgers. Worse than that, the suit will say McDonald’s has been targeting children in their ads and with attractions like playgrounds on the premises and special meals complete with toys. The chief villain is, of course, Ronald McDonald, who makes Joe Camel a piker.
That’s going to be the quick consequence of state governments and the federal government establishing the precedent of supporting hate campaigns against a legal substance. Tobacco is chicken-feed.
“Now, wait a minute,” someone will say. “Big Macs don’t create an addiction, like cigarettes!” Oh, yeah? I’m addicted. I have at least one cheeseburger a day and have done that throughout most of my life. How did this terror start? I hate to admit it, but it was when I was a kid. I’m not to blame. “They” did it to me. How was I to know?
There’s something else I feel compelled to bring up on behalf of all those who have been ensnared into this pit of disease: The costs to society for all these hamburger-related ailments are tremendous.
That, of course, is the consequence of programs that are socialistic. Once the taxpayer is compelled to pay for the choices made by another, the government can take jurisdiction over the entire industry that the government feels is responsible for those costs.
In sympathy with those, like me, who were hooked into all this by a legal substance, I hope the president mandates heavy restrictions and regulations regarding the advertising of those fast-food horrors, restrictions on T-shirts, comic characters, logos, posters at sporting events and color advertisements. The devil with the 1st Amendment! Health should always supersede the Constitution.
And this shouldn’t be the end of it; it should be the beginning of it. The evidence of many other legal substances causing disease is overwhelming. Leading journals continually confirm this. The London Times printed that “research has linked high consumption of hot dogs with an increase in childhood leukemia.” The same newspaper also reported that “it has been recognized since 1970 that licorice taken in quantities can cause high blood pressure, sudden cardiac arrest, congested cardiac failure and more.” To be consistent in the terminology in smoking-related diseases, we should say that leukemia is a hot dog-related disease, and cardiac arrest is licorice-related.
What started all this, of course, was government’s involvement with anti-smoking campaigns and regulations. I have a confession. I’m not only a cheeseburger addict, I smoke. I started smoking when I was 18 and it wasn’t because of advertisements or logos or posters or cartoon characters. It was because, like millions of others in the military in those days, a representative of the U.S. government encouraged me to smoke. “Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!” was the phrase yelled out by my commanding officer. The first time he said that, while I was standing in formation with nothing to do, I didn’t have them. The next time he said that, I made sure I did. In this litigious society when everyone is being sued because of a “smoking-related” disease, some day the U.S. government may well be the subject of the biggest class action suit of all.
Are my addictions commensurate with addictions to hard drugs? Please! I know countless people, even those who were chain-smokers, who quit smoking and every one of them did it by stopping “cold turkey,” while hard drug users generally have to go to a rehabilitation center. Cigarettes do not alter the mind or cause hallucinations or make the users drive or act recklessly. When cigarette prices were above my budget, I didn’t think of stealing to get a cigarette, let alone murdering someone. In fact, no matter how much I may have wanted a cigarette, I wouldn’t even have walked a mile for a Camel. It wasn’t worth it. (It must be kept in mind, however, that as a Californian, I would have driven a mile, but I wouldn’t have walked more than a couple blocks at most.)
Anyway, I think I’ll sue someone. I’ve been taking terrible risks by my eating and smoking habits. In truth, I’ve taken much greater risks in my life than those two habits, but I can’t think of anyone to sue over them. Do you know a good lawyer?
