Divorcing the chief:One report says that L.A....

Divorcing the chief:

One report says that L.A. Police Chief Willie Williams wants a severance package of $750,000, but that the financially strapped city might only offer him about $400,000. Perhaps the city could fork over the $400,000 to Williams and borrow the rest from Bob Dole.

NOT-SO-SMART COMPUTER: “Is it true, Maxwell H. Salter?” began the subscription offer from Essence magazine.

“We have it you’re an African American woman,” it continued, “who’s naturally . . . intelligent . . . inquisitive . . . beautiful . . . sensuous . . .”

Actually, Salter, who lives in Beverly Hills, is a 70-year-old white guy.

BUT, AS A MATTER OF FACT: Salter STILL considers himself intelligent, inquisitive, beautiful and sensuous.

THE OLD SWIMMING LOOPHOLE: L.A. Superior Court Judge Lance Ito, an occasional contributor to Only In L.A., sent in today’s photo, along with a note that said: “While traveling in Israel two weeks ago, I came across the following dueling signs at the Sea of Galilee. Proof positive L.A. does not have a monopoly on this type of silliness.”

After studying the “Swimming Forbidden” and “Swimming At Your Own Risk” signs, we affirm Ito’s judgment.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Some restaurants whose buildings were once occupied by other businesses:

* Holly Street Bar and Grill, Pasadena (formerly Turner & Stevens Mortuary)

* Campanile, L.A., Miracle Mile (office building used by Charlie Chaplin)

* Sonora Cafe, Miracle Mile (carpet warehouse)

* Il Mito, Studio City (tile factory)

* Kate Mantilini, Beverly Hills (Gibraltar Savings Bank)

* 72 Market Street, Beverly Hills (Frank Gehry art studio)

* Rose Cafe, Venice (gas company office)

* Tamayo, East L.A. (pipe supply store, among others)

* Engine Company No. 28, downtown (a firehouse--OK, you guessed that one).

Then there’s Philippe sandwich shop, whose location (a former red light district on North Alameda Street) and many doorways on the second floor give rise to the belief that a former owner operated a brothel, which is certainly livelier than a mortuary.

miscelLAny

The state Senate killed a bill that would have required repeat drunk drivers to display a scarlet “DUI” license plate. But a colleague did notice a car in the Silver Lake area with the plate DUI XPRT. We wonder: XPRT in what sense?