Yankees-Angels: Apples, Oranges

Comparisons between the New York Yankees and the Angels are inevitable.

When you think of championship baseball, you automatically think Yankees and Angels. When you think of players who make the Hall of Fame, you definitely think Yankees and Angels.

OK, maybe not.

New York and Anaheim.

City that never sleeps. City that never wakes up.

How I would love to see the 1997 American League pennant race come down to these two fabled organizations.

City of Mickey Mantle versus city of Mickey Mouse.

It could happen, if the Yankees gain the wild-card bid and the Angels overtake the Seattle Mariners for the West Division championship.

That’s right, this week’s series between the Bronx Bombers and the Halos--I love that Sporting News lingo--could be a preview of October’s coming attractions.

As you know, the Yankees were in the World Series last fall, for what baseball now officially lists as “the umpteenth time.”

I think, if my arithmetic is correct, the Yankees have now been in the World Series something like 34 times, all told.

The Angels, according to my math--let me see, divide by three, carry the nine--yes, the Angels have been to the World Series approximately 0.00 times.

However, you’ll be happy to know that their rebuilding plan continues smoothly.

You would have thought the Angels could have stumbled into a World Series by accident, one of these years.

It wasn’t as though the Yankees hogged the thing and wouldn’t let anybody else in it. During a stretch from 1963 through 1995, do you know how many World Series championships the Yankees won? Two--1977 and ’78.

Two titles in 32 years.

What were the Angels doing all that time, playing designated opponent?

I can’t figure how one organization could do everything so right, while another organization could do everything so wrong. Did they not each use nine players? Did they both hold batting practice before the game? If you pricked them both, would they not bleed?

Lately, I have been making a list of how these teams differ.

In recent times, the Angels were run by Gene Autry, singer of “Back in the Saddle Again,” while the Yankees were run by George Steinbrenner, singer of “Take This Manager and Shove Him.”

Both teams have had Reggie Jackson, but in Anaheim, he was better known as “Mr. April.”

Both teams have had Jim Abbott. For New York, Jimmy pitches a no-hitter. For the Angels, he goes 2-18.

Both teams have had Joe Torre. The Yankees put him in the dugout. The Angels put him in the TV booth.

Both teams have had wild fans. In New York, a kid reaches over the outfield fence to give the Yankees a home run. But in Anaheim, actor Charlie Sheen buys up the outfield seats and sits there by himself, thereby making it more difficult for fans to interfere with visiting outfielders.

New York’s idea of a great center fielder was Mantle or Joe DiMaggio. Anaheim’s idea of a great center fielder was Gary Pettis or Devon White.

A Yankee superstar marries Marilyn Monroe. An Angel superstar dates Mamie Van Doren.

Moose Skowron plays nine years as a Yankee and bats .300 five times. Moose plays 62 games as an Angel and bats .220.

Randy Velarde plays for the Yankees and helps them make the 1995 playoffs. Velarde plays for the Angels and makes the disabled list.

Jim Leyritz plays for the Yankees and helps them win the 1996 World Series. Leyritz plays for the Angels and gets traded to Texas for a pitcher whose record is now 6-9.

I can’t explain it.

What’s wrong with the Angels? I don’t know, any more than Yogi Berra knew when his wife said she had just gone to see “Dr. Zhivago,” and Yogi’s response was, “Oh, what’s the matter with you now?”

All I do know is, the Angels think they have a great ballclub this season. Yet if they were in the Yankees’ division, as of Tuesday morning, the Angels would have been 11 games out of first place.

So, forgive me if what the Angels are doing doesn’t excite me.

Call me in October.