Escapist Action Series ‘Roar’ Goes Mindlessly Into the Mystic

Fox’s convoluted new “Roar” is a sort of “Spartacus” meets Michael Flatley’s “Lord of the Dance.”

There’s always room on television for romantic escapism, and this summer adventure series is surely harmless enough. But also pretty much a drag unless your taste runs to mindless violence and trivial storytelling couched in pretentious mysticism attached to 5th century Celtic Ireland.

Yes, another one of those.

The premiere opens with a damsel in distress being rescued by the heroic young Celtic prince, Conor (Heath Ledger), and closes with dueling mystics, which is pretty funny, actually, and may be a TV first.

In between, Conor is traumatized (“NOHHHHHHHH!”) when his family is wiped out during a wedding banquet by the rotten King Gar (Leo Taylor), whose daughter (“beautiful beyond words”) Conor understandably covets.

Assisted by his warrior sidekick, Fergus (John Saint Ryan), Conor pulls himself together in time to lead a rebellion against the Rome-controlled Gar, who also faces trouble at home, where his gussied hussy of a wife, Diana (Lisa Zane), and her musty, flaking, 400-year-old boyfriend happily contemplate a future together without the snarling Gar.

“Roar,” we learn, refers to Celtic pride and tradition. In other words, “the voice that echoes every living thing, the power that binds us together . . . and can give you a strength and clarity like never before.” Strength and clarity from this clunker?

NOHHHHHHHH!

* “Roar” premieres at 9 tonight on Fox (Channel 11). The network has rated it TV-PG (may not be suitable for young children).