Teaching Values to Kids With Everything Else
It’s not a topic usually associated with parenting classes. But a group of Orange County parents recently completed a six-week course on “How to Raise Children in an Affluent Society” under the direction of Tere Wilshin, a family counselor who has led parenting classes through the Capistrano Unified School District for two decades.
The idea of the well-to-do seeking guidance to avoid spoiling their kids may, at first blush, seem self-indulgent or an invitation to parody. But in an era in which many parents can’t honestly tell their kids, “We can’t afford it,” the moral dilemmas can be quite real.
“These parents, they realize there’s a problem,” Wilshin said, “and they’re making a real effort to ground their children in what’s important in life.”
Some of the advice offered during her class--or by the participating parents:
* Live by the values you want your children to have. A parent who makes a habit of amassing the latest goods or who worries about the right labels should expect children to do the same.
* Have children use their own money to buy the toys or designer goods they pressure you to get them. “I find my children really don’t want it,” one mother said, “if they have to pay for it.”
* Involve children at an early age in family charitable acts.
* When it comes to back-to-school items, consider setting a budget and letting children get whatever they want within it. Even if they would rather have one pair of jeans with the big label and stick with last year’s frayed T-shirts, they’re learning to make choices about what money can buy.
* Be flexible. Perhaps you can give in to them on the less expensive fashion items--such as pencils that look like they’re made out of denim, which cost a little more than your basic No. 2s--and stick to your guns on their pleas for fancy shoes.
