Roles for Au Pairs, Others in Child Care

Re “Who’s Minding the Baby?” by Debra Zeifman, Commentary, Nov. 7: An au pair is supposed to be a mother’s helper, not a full-time child minder. She is supposed to assist a mother who is home and in charge of her child. Au pairs might be expected to take a child for a walk or to play with the child. Maybe she could dust, wash dishes or vacuum, giving the mother a much needed break. In return, au pairs are to be treated as an older sister, a member of the family. They should pursue an education in their free time. Their pay is pocket money. No one would expect an older daughter to assume full responsibility for a child while the mother and father worked.

Grandparents should not be substitute parents. They just finished that job and should have the right to assume the role of grandparents, with all the privileges.

The tragedy of baby Matthew Eappen and Louise Woodward should tell us once and for all that there is no greater minder of children than the parents themselves. It is their responsibility, not that of any other group, related or not. No job is more important.

LOUISE E. WOOLER

Altadena

Zeifman adds credence to the child care I provide for my great niece. The benefit of my twice-weekly commitment to Natalie Rachel--now 9 months old--is twofold. She remains in familiar surroundings with her own playthings. I receive a tremendous amount of delight and satisfaction watching her grow and develop.

Just prior to the birth of this precious bundle of joy, I was re-engineered out of my position after 29 years in a large corporation. It’s my pleasure to care for this sweet child. I have the time, patience and parenting skills that I didn’t possess in my youth. My own daughters didn’t receive this degree of undivided attention.

On our morning and afternoon walks, Natalie--in the stroller--becomes familiar with her neighborhood. She is fascinated with bees and butterflies, squirrels and squawking crows. Soon we’ll explore weeds, worms and mud puddles.

Yes, it’s an enormous responsibility to assume the care of someone else’s infant. I approach the assignment with the wisdom, life experience and skills accrued by the third age, with child safety the No. 1 priority.

ANNE LIPMAN

Tarzana

I was appalled and disappointed by the insulting and sexist conclusions drawn by Zeifman on who should care for the child in the absence of the parents. Does she include a father as a parent? Has she ever heard of a father, grandfather, brother, or uncle? I helped care for my younger brothers, and most certainly helped raise my three children. Presently, I enjoy and look forward to every Tuesday when I care for my granddaughter.

GENE P. MORRIS

Dove Canyon