Inside the World of Deaf Moms

To her son, dimmed lights are the equivalent of a soothing lullaby. Sometimes the two sway to music they can both feel. She exaggerates movement to make a song in sign language. And when her baby babbles to her, he babbles with his hands.

Jayne, a 29-year-old deaf woman, remains determined to do everything the right way. Her husband and her 2-year-old son are also deaf.

But doing it the right way for deaf mothers requires constant coordination and endless self-assertion.

Lamaze and lactation classes and the endless chatter from family and friends are often absent in their world.

“Many deaf people don’t get connected with too many things,” said Jayne through an interpreter. “Hospitals are clueless, deaf people are clueless.”

Maryann Mullen agrees. A perinatal nurse for the Cal State L.A. High Risk Infant Program and the Five Acres program in Altadena, Mullen visits pregnant deaf women throughout their pregnancies and their children’s first year.

“A lot of deaf people lead fairly isolated lives,” said Rick Mitchell, supervisor of the deaf services program at Five Acres, a nonprofit center for abused and neglected children. About 25 women have used the 3-year-old program that he and Mullen developed.

Many American deaf people use American Sign Language as their first language. Written English is a second language and not all are proficient in it.

Most mothers will credit at least one mentor who has helped them through pregnancy and the first months of infancy. For Jayne, a graduate of Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C., her mentor was Mullen. When the young mother was frantic about returning to work as a counselor, Mullen eased her fears, bringing a lactation nurse and a breast pump to help her continue to nurse her son, Ramy. Jayne is also a minority in that Ramy is deaf. Ninety percent of children born to deaf parents are hearing. Conversely, 90% of deaf children are born into hearing families.

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Parenthood is difficult enough, but deaf mothers live in a world that must be thoughtfully and carefully planned.

There are cry lights that warn the mother when the baby is crying and convex crib mirrors for a baby to see sign interaction between family members.

Women are encouraged to sign to their deaf and hearing babies from birth, Mitchell said, so that children learn their mothers’ language. They are also encouraged to expose hearing children to speech. The babies, hearing and deaf, begin to sign words at the same time most babies begin to babble, Mitchell said. And hearing babies initially sign better than they speak, because speech takes fine tongue and mouth control and ASL uses only hands.

This is just one of the many nuances of deaf culture unknown to most of the hearing world, Mitchell said. He estimates that nearly 2,000 children a year are born to deaf women in L.A. County. Local hospitals and the childbirth industry have been slow to accommodate these numbers, he said.

Jayne and her husband searched for a childbirth class that offered a translator. The Americans With Disabilities Act is supposed to ensure communication help for the deaf, but deaf people often don’t insist on it, Jayne said.

Childbirth instructors kept telling her to bring a translator, but Jayne said that was not enough. In classes, she said, “You kind of feel separate. People just talk, talk, talk.”

Eventually, she and her husband found a class in Simi Valley, several miles from their San Gabriel Valley home.

“Deaf people are used to being suppressed,” Jayne said, and they don’t often insist on a translator even when it’s necessary.

She told an emotional story of a friend who went into labor and took her sister as her translator. Her sister panicked and couldn’t communicate what was happening. The woman ended up getting an emergency caesarean section. Jayne said the woman had signed a release for a C-section, but still didn’t understand that she was actually going to get one.

Mullen found the same frustration among deaf mothers after their children are born. Pediatricians say they can’t afford to hire an interpreter so they send their deaf patients elsewhere.

As a result, many of Mullen’s clients wait for her monthly visit to ask about health problems. Among the more serious cases were a mother who found blood in her baby’s diaper and another who went into premature labor without realizing it.

Even Mullen has occasional problems with translations. Sign language is different in different languages and some of her clients don’t use American Sign Language. These visits become a four-person task when Mullen takes a language translator, who interprets to a family member who signs to the client.

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Mullen, a mother of four grown children, has a low-key style that belies her devotion. Several years ago, a deaf patient gave birth to premature triplets. “Everyone used notes back and forth,” she said. She promised herself she would learn American Sign Language.

She attended a three-year program at Mount San Antonio College and later volunteered at Five Acres to hone her skills.

Mullen now is an interpreter for even the nuances of the deaf culture. For example, it’s considered not just rude, but downright obnoxious to break eye contact while signing. But mothers must follow with their eyes their children even while visiting with friends.

She and Mitchell encourage mothers to just apologize “for occasionally breaking eye contact instead of choosing between a visit and keeping an eye on their children.

And there are more complicated problems, especially as a hearing child gets older, Mitchell said. Some deaf parents expect too much from their hearing children. They expect them to answer the phone and to act as family translator well before the children are able.

He sees Mullen as a way to set up a better dynamic by explaining a child’s abilities early.

For Jayne, the program helped her and her husband have the kind of birth they dreamed about. With a referral from the nonprofit interpreter service Lifesigns, they were able to clearly communicate with the hospital staff throughout the process. Afterward, Jayne said, “My husband was jumping with joy. That was a wonderful moment.”

Afterward each time Mullen visited, she brought new information.

“We wanted to give our son a good start,” Jayne said. “I want to see other deaf people have the same start. So many deaf people, they’re really in darkness.”

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For More Help

* Five Acres offers prenatal and perinatal information. Call (626) 798-6793 (voice), (626) 798-9006 (TDD).

* The Greater Los Angeles Council on Deafness (GLAD) bookstore has baby cry signalers and a library of visual aids on pregnancy and child care. Call or TDD: (213) 255-4576.

* GLAD assists with interpreters and other services. For information, call (213) 478-8000 (voice or TDD). It has outreach offices throughout Southern California.

* Lifesigns has a large pool of interpreters available 24 hours a day. Between 8:30 a.m. and 5 p.m., call (213) 550-4210 in Los Angeles County, (714) 826-9280 in Orange County, (805) 327-3783 in Kern County, (909) 359-5297 in Riverside County, and (805) 648-1205 in Ventura County. Lifesigns suggests that you call at least three days before you need the services. For a medical or law enforcement emergency, call (800) 633-8883.