Be Neighbors to Boys in Home

* Re “Unneighborly Welcome for Boys Home,” July 30:

The residents of Cobblestone Road in La Habra would do well to read Jerry Hicks’ column highlighting an unfortunately common challenge for group home providers when establishing a needed home in a new neighborhood: Many of the people who own homes in the new neighborhood become frightened.

Most of the fear is based in assumptions that have little to do with the actual boys who will occupy the home. In other words, all six of these boys began their lives as innocent children, not unlike the other children on Cobblestone Road. These boys are children who ended up in a group home as a result of having been abused. Fear, no matter how reasonable or unreasonable, often deters us from reality and makes us look for the worst possible scenario.

Fear can raise the specter of endless “what-ifs,” quickly followed by unfounded hysteria, with little regard for other choices a neighborhood could make.

These boys have had a tough start in life, but that doesn’t mean they are destined to turn out bad. Every day, many adults who were abused as children, some of whom subsequently lived in group homes, are living healthy, productive lives.

What better way to prevent those six boys from becoming tomorrow’s tragic statistics than, as a community, to welcome them, be role models for them, treat them as we would treat any new neighbor in our community? Without traditional family support, how else will they learn to respect and to know the value of family and community?

Instead of worrying about property values, how about volunteering to help out with the group home, mowing the lawn, pulling weeds, planting flowers?

This volunteerism would benefit both the home and the neighborhood, and serve as a healthy model for the boys. Why not organize a welcome-to-the-neighborhood party for the boys and their counselors? When they grow up, they will remember that, at least in your neighborhood, people cared.

The measure of a truly wonderful neighborhood is greater than the dollar value of its homes. The lasting and meaningful value is in the compassion and support of the people and families who live within its boundaries.

BARBARA J. OLIVER

Executive director

Child Abuse Prevention Council

of Orange County