Tales of Abuse, Incest Frame ‘Utah’s Dirty Little Secret’

The bedraggled girl walked six dusty miles to a gas station pay phone and punched in 911. Then she did what she was taught never to do: She told. Help me, she said to the sheriff. My father beat me when I ran away from an arranged marriage with my uncle. I was his 15th wife.

With one phone call to an outside world she scarcely knew, the battered 16-year-old gave voice to silent women who live within the secretive constraints of polygamy. Her tale of child abuse, incest and intermarriage has been the catalyst for the recent arrests of two patriarchs of the largest polygamous clan in the state and sparked unusually open debate about what one former polygamous wife calls “Utah’s dirty little secret.”

The three months since that phone call have brought a raft of questions in a state that is only now coming to grips with its legacy of widespread plural marriages. One academic study a generation ago estimated the number of people living in polygamy in Utah at 30,000; those fighting the practice today believe the number is two or three times that.

Once the code of silence was broken, there was a flow of outrage, incredulity and, for some women, confession. On radio talk shows, in newspapers and across kitchen tables, Utahans are hashing over disturbing allegations about the human toll.

Allegations include evidence of large-scale welfare fraud by polygamy wives claiming to be single mothers. An investigation by the Salt Lake Tribune uncovered one polygamy community in which 33% of the residents are dependent on food stamps.

Critics say the practice leads to pregnant women with no prenatal care, children who never see doctors and huge families with no health or dental insurance. Girls as young as 10 are forced into arranged marriages, they say. And the state harbors people who live their lives as societal ciphers, with no birth certificates, no driver’s license, who don’t pay taxes and never vote.

Finally, the former polygamy wives say they’ve seen rampant incest and child abuse. In the recent case of the girl who called authorities, her uncle was charged with unlawful sexual conduct and is awaiting arraignment. Her father was charged with felony child abuse, has pled not guilty and is awaiting trial.

Amid the debate, a group proposing legalizing polygamy in Utah has sprung up, calling itself Women’s Religious Liberties Union, led by Mary Potter. Potter said her group does not support plural marriages in which women have no power. She acknowledged that sexual abuse exists in polygamy but said it is also a problem in monogamous families.

“We ask to be left alone and to worship as we please,” Potter said.

Polygamists have been backed by the American Civil Liberties Union, which defends their right to practice their religion. Meanwhile, leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which once allowed multiple wives, have stayed out of the fray, stressing that the Mormon church banned polygamy in the 19th century.

Leading the cautionary chorus is Tapestry of Polygamy, an advocacy group of former polygamy wives who have marched on the Capitol to alert officials to what they say are the evils of plural marriage.

According to Rowenna Erickson, the group’s founder, what they have to say is so stunning that “we can’t tell all we know--it’s incomprehensible.”

Child Learns to Keep Family Secrets

Dianne, a high-ranking member of the Tapestry group, grew up a child of polygamy. She was the 25th of 31 children. Her mother was the third wife of four. For years the sister-wives lived in separate houses, but when Dianne was 7 the entire extended family moved into one large home, she said.

As a child, Dianne learned to keep the family secrets. Don’t invite friends home. Tell everyone that your brothers and sisters are your cousins. Pretend not to hear when kids at school belittle your unstylish long dresses and shabby shoes.

“I learned that there was Them and there was Us,” said Dianne. “I didn’t want to wear weird clothes. I wanted to fit in. My mother explained it by saying we’re living a higher law that the world doesn’t understand.”

Dianne was pulled from school in the fifth grade and was home schooled. The children seldom went to the movies, they were alowed to watch only approved television programs and the only musical options were hymns.

Within the family, her father was a terrifying figure, as were her brothers. Girls and women were taught to never question male authority. It was not until years later that Dianne understood the roots of her fear.

“At 13, my brother was molesting me,” she said, sitting in Tapestry of Polygamy’s borrowed office in Salt Lake City. “I asked for justice. I was told that we need to let my brother be what he was going to be. So I learned that my body wasn’t even my own. I was like a zombie. A walking piece of flesh.

“My father would enter my room at night and molest me. At 8 I tried to fight him off. I had my hair pulled and was slapped. I gave up. I would block it out and think it was a bad dream.

“After I had therapy, I began to share stories with my husband’s sisters about what happened to me. They started sharing their stories of sexual abuse. They referred to it as an evil spirit visiting them at night.”

The situation is frustrating for Sgt. Don Bell, chief of the sex crimes unit for the Salt Lake City police.

“Of course there’s rape and incest going on--they don’t report it, they know what’s going to happen if they do,” he said. “The scary thing about polygamy is it’s never brought to our attention.” I’ll see a polygamous family--you can tell who they are--and I’ll see a 15-year-old girl and she’s already got a baby in her arms. You know she had sex with someone. The men will deny it.”

‘I Had to Dumpster Dive’ to Feed Family

When it became time for her to marry, Dianne was told by a prophet who her husband would be.

Dianne and other former polygamy wives tell of living in deprivation. Even though in a typical family the husband and some of his wives held jobs, most struggled to support an extended family that could number in the dozens.

“I had to dumpster dive to feed my kids,” said Carmen Thompson. “We had no insurance. Once when my daughter was 2 months old and had pneumonia I was told [by family] to give her herbal tea in a bottle and pray.”

Typically, polygamous husbands marry their first wife legally then are “sealed” to ensuing wives in a religious ceremony.

Some men prefer to keep their entire family under one roof with each wife having her own bedroom. A “visiting” schedule is posted on the refrigerator. Other men have families in different homes and travel each night to a different place, keeping a private residence for themselves.

The sister-wives are counseled not to harbor jealousy, but many of the women say it’s natural.

“Our system was my husband would trade off with us, every other night,” said Vicky Prunty, who was one of two wives. “Then it was difficult for him so he went two nights, two nights, then a rest night. It became my reality. I had to make it my reality, even if it hurt with every fiber of my being, because, when I hurt, I felt I was being selfish or weak. In reality, I was a piece of property.”

In her sunny kitchen, Rowenna Erickson is hunched over a pad of paper, forehead lined in concentration. She is drawing what she calls her “horrible maps,” her former polygamous family’s tree.

Erickson remembers children born as dwarfs, children born with no fingernails, children born with their hands and feet fused and children dying young.

“There’s not even a question of prenatal care,” she said. “Also, some of these families don’t take these babies to the hospital because they don’t want questions asked.”

Because many children in plural families don’t attend public school, they miss the normal screening for childhood diseases, vision and hearing testing, and developmental assessment. Also, teachers and school officials are unable to serve as sentinels for child abuse.

Multiple ‘Wives’ Not Illegal

Polygamy may be on trial in public debate, but it can’t be legally tried: It’s not illegal. Although the state Constitution forbids polygamy, it is the crime of bigamy, legally marrying more than one person, that is on the Utah books, not the practice of multiple unsanctioned marriages.

Polygamists could be prosecuted under several other broad Utah statutes, including adultery, but law enforcement officials are reluctant to enter the realm of what many consider to be the actions of consenting adults.

Utah Gov. Mike Leavitt, himself a descendant of polygamists, weighed in with the suggestion that polygamy may be protected under the the 1st Amendment of the Constitution. He later modified that, stressing that illegal activities should be prosecuted.

Tapestry of Polygamy members met with state leaders Monday to call for a task force to deal with the issues surrounding polygamy. While lawmakers are considering revising current laws, they stress the priority is to address the issues of incest, abuse and the subjugation of women.

“What we’re talking about is freedom of choice,” said Democratic state Sen. Scott Howell. “If a woman enters polygamy of her own free will, she must be able to leave it freely.”

Howell and others concede that if women in Utah began to flee plural marriages and bring their children with them, the state’s shelters would be overrun.

“We’re demanding change, we’re not going to stop,” said Tapestry member Laura Chapman. “We were about softness and compassion, now we are transformed into roaring lionesses.”

The polygamy tradition in Utah is directly descended from Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon church. Smith is said to have had 50 wives and fathered scores of children before he was lynched for his beliefs in 1844.

Utah acquiesced to federal pressure when it sought statehood and outlawed polygamy as a condition of entrance to the Union in 1890. With nearly 70% of the population of Utah identified as Mormon, the topic is prickly.

The women who have been able to leave polygamy say that not all plural marriages are rife with problems. But some who have left are still awaiting retribution for leaving the fold.

One woman said her children visit their father, who is living with other wives, and report they are praying for her. Praying for her to die and give blood atonement for leaving polygamy. For daring to tell.