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STRANGE SCIENCE

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It shouldn’t take a nuclear physicist to figure out how to kick a soccer ball 12 yards into a gaping net, but in the aftermath of England’s failed shooutout against Argentina, one retired English scientist decided to do some research.

Derek Fairbanks-Law studied David Batty’s botched final attempt and wrote to England’s Coach Glenn Hoddle, saying, “I maybe teaching my granny to suck eggs, in which case I apologize for wasting your time, but I wondered if you have had anybody look at the science of actually taking penalty shots.”

By using a high-speed camera with a freeze-frame capacity, Fairbanks-Law contends “a preferred target for a left- or right-footed striker” can be located.”

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“Batty’s penalty was taken in such a way that it probably stood the lowest percentage chance possible of scoring,” Fairbanks- Law said. “It is an easy mathematical equation to calculate and I would have thought any six-form physics student could do it.”

“Batty just doesn’t know his physics.”

Or, if you’ve misplaced your old high school physics textbook, try to remember this: Never, under any circumstances, kick your penalty shoulder high at the goalkeeper.

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