Or Maybe She’s a Refugee From Louisiana

“She is back--the attractive blond in the black BMW,” reported Preben Sorensen of L.A. “I know, because I saw her driving south on Fairfax.”

And who is she? Sorensen didn’t know--only that she’d been away. And how did he know this?

Because her license plate says, LEFT LA.

And it’s a Utah plate.

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THEY COME IN ALL COLORS: It’s no longer possible to compile an accurate profile of the typical road-rage candidate. Ask Roger Barwise, who had this experience in the San Fernando Valley after making a left turn in front of a Cadillac on a yellow light.

“The guy starts chasing me,” Barwise said. “He’s got on a blue-and-white plaid jumpsuit and a pompadour toupee you could see a block away at midnight. He’s got a Pomeranian dog on his arm with a powder-blue collar matching his jumpsuit.”

And . . . and . . . ?

“He comes up alongside me,” Barwise said, “and he leans out his window and yells, ‘That’s not nice!’ ”

I’m sort of glad he didn’t drop the Pomeranian. Or the pompadour.

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L.A. MILESTONES: Ten years ago Wednesday, The Times reported that the owner of a Southland shop held a news conference to protest the refusal of the Guinness Book of World Records to give him a mention. He pointed out that he had documentary proof that two of his employees had dressed and undressed in the store window for 72 straight hours. Yet Guinness declined to recognize the category of “longest continuous striptease.”

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BALD ASSERTION: Stephen Abramson of Valencia came across a shocking report that seemed to warn you could lose your shirt--not to mention your hair--dealing with probate costs and estate taxes (see accompanying).

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THREE’S A CROWD: Dean Shaw found a spot that must be the bane of mail carriers, delivery people and emergency dispatchers--it’s the corner of Artesia Place, Artesia Court and Artesia Boulevard (see photo). And it’s in the city of Artesia? Well, no. It’s in Bellflower.

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NO PASSPORT NEEDED: There isn’t any confusion about the boundary between L.A.and West Hollywood on Edinburgh Avenue, as you can see with the help of today’s mystery tennis shoe (see photo).

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MIXER-UP: “We always knew that Glendale was a little behind the times,” wrote Phyllis Marks, enclosing an announcement from the Glendale Chamber of Commerce that its June Mixer would be held on the 15th--of July.

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CROSS-CULTURAL DINING (CONT.): Here’s still another multinational eatery, spotted by Ivan and Beverly Siegman in Palm Desert:

La Bamba Mandarin Palace.

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BREAK A (NAKED) LEG! The Elysium nudist colony in Topanga, which has promoted such phenomena as a nude blood drive and a nude ocean cruise, sent out a news release announcing that it will host a comedy benefit Sunday afternoon. It was headlined: “Nudists Stand Up Against Domestic Violence!”

MiscelLAny:

In the credits for the soon-to-open movie “The Unknown Cyclist,” starring Lea Thompson, Joe Bessara is listed as “Jeweled Condom Box Designer.”