Heartache May Be Healing Already
Dear Cynthia: When I had this dream, my boyfriend and I had just broken up and my heart had been broken. I was at a museum, naked except for a purse with the strap falling off my shoulder. I started walking home. Strangers nonchalantly commented, “Do you realize your purse strap is off your shoulder?” They were unconcerned with my nakedness. My ex drove by in an old Chevy with other guys. They stopped and when I asked for a ride they said they were going the opposite way. But my ex got out and walked me home politely. He too was oblivious to my nakedness, though he also pointed out that my strap was off my shoulder.
BEV MARSHBURN
Dana Point
Dear Reader: Museums display valuable items from the past. You were reviewing what you valued from your relationship. Being naked in this case indicates that you were stripped of all protection, a result no doubt of your recent breakup. So there you are, your true, vulnerable self carrying a purse. A purse in a dream represents your identity, the version of you that you want to present to the world. Yours keeps falling off your shoulder: Now that you are no longer half a couple, the way you present yourself has changed.
The old Chevy again refers to the past. The relationship is over and you are headed in different directions. The fact that no one--including your ex--notices your nakedness indicates that you think he no longer finds you desirable, another result of the breakup. However, your ex does notice that your identity has changed, and he walks you home politely, indicating that you feel he has tried to do things the right way. Therefore, your dream indicates that you have begun the healing process.
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Dear Cynthia: This is a dream I seem to experience whenever I am stressed or anxious: I am in need of a bathroom, and, when I locate one, the toilets are filthy and totally exposed, so there is no privacy. I feel embarrassed. Sometimes the stall is crowded with others. Sometimes I begin using the toilet and someone appears and sees me. The filth frightens me and I can’t avoid touching it. I am frustrated because I need to relieve myself and can’t under the circumstances.
CANDICE
Woodland Hills
Dear Reader: I have received more than 40 dreams similar to yours. Bathrooms represent cleansing and releasing. The need to use the bathroom is a need to release something that no longer benefits you.
In the dream you feel embarrassed to relieve yourself in front of others and are afraid of the filth that surrounds you: You feel that if you release the excrement in your life, you will appear dirty and others will judge you. So whatever is frustrating you, you end up keeping inside. You want a private place to get it out of your system.
Since you keep having this dream, I think you might benefit from a session with a therapist. They don’t judge people, and by listening objectively as you release whatever it is you hold inside, perhaps a therapist can offer positive suggestions. And then maybe you finally will feel relieved.
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Dear Cynthia: This dream occurred many years ago but has stuck in my mind: Our oldest son’s room had water cascading down the walls. The walls were translucent and there was a golden light shining through them.
The next morning at the breakfast table, our son told us he’d also had a strange dream, in which water was sheeting down his bedrooms walls! But in his dream the walls were clear.
Needless to say, the hair on he back of my neck stood up! Before he described his dream, I hadn’t told anyone about mine.
LYNNE HERRON
Northridge
Dear Reader: The maternal bond never sleeps. Still, it is most uncommon for two people to have basically the same dream on the same night.
This was a very beautiful and spiritual dream. Water often is associated with emotions and it represents cleansing and purification. Baptism is the symbolic washing away of sin with water. The golden light you saw is spiritual protection and guidance.
You and your son are linked in a deep way. As his mother, you protect and guide him. The walls in his dream were clear, which leads me to believe that he sees no walls or boundaries between you.
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Celebrity Dream of the Week: Boomer, my handsome big guy lion, and I were at the airport getting ready to board our plane to London when I saw that Boomer was standing up on his hind legs and dressed like a gentleman with a bowler hat and camel hair coat and a cane over his shoulder. We walked arm in arm. Boomer looked at me but nobody else paid any attention to this amazing scene.
TIPPI HEDREN
Actress, founder of the Shamaba
Animal Preserve in Acton, Calif.
Dear Ms. Hedren: In the language of dreams, lions represent power and strength. They are kings of the jungle (and Boomer certainly is dressed regally here!). Through your association with animals, you feel powerful and strong. But beyond that, obviously you are friends with your favorite pets. Your dream shows that you consider them as equal in importance to humans. Being out in the world with your lion, you reveal your desire that the world accept animals and their needs, as you do.
* Behavioral therapist Cynthia Richmond’s column appears every other Tuesday. To contact her, write to “In Your Dreams,” Life & Style, the Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053; send a fax to (213) 237-0732, or e-mail her at cynthrich@aol.com. Please include the name of the city where you live and a daytime phone number. Letters should be no longer than 100 words and cannot be returned. “In Your Dreams” should be read for entertainment purposes only.