An Unsolved Bird-Napping

I’ve covered some unusual pet stories, ranging from a woman who performed mouth-to-beak resuscitation on her drowned parakeet to an iguana who could eat popcorn while standing on its hind feet. But when a lost flamingos poster arrived in my mail (see photo), I was suspicious.

And it turned out to be a hoax, as I learned when I called the Manhattan Beach number on the flier.

Resident (or victim) Dave Leahy wanted it made clear that he had nothing to do with the notices. They are part of an extended practical joke that someone has been playing on him ever since his 50th birthday, 2 1/2 years ago.

That was the day two flamingos--plastic flamingos--disappeared from his yard. Leahy forgot about the ornaments, which had been purchased for his party.

“Then,” he said, “I started receiving letters from all over the world--letters that had pictures of the flamingos with messages like, ‘We’re happy. Don’t worry about us.’ There was even one that showed them next to the Eiffel Tower.”

Is the culprit an airline employee? Or, more likely, a team of mischief makers?

Leahy, a part-time musician, doesn’t know. But he laughed and said: “This is the work of some middle-aged people who haven’t quite matured properly.”

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BATTLE OF THE RIGHT-TURN SIGNS: Ephraim Moxson of L.A. snapped a shot of a three-way duel in downtown L.A (see photo) in which the no right turns were holding a slight edge.

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10 YEARS AGO: A sting by L.A. County sheriff’s deputies netted some 50 alleged cocaine customers in Lynwood, including a couple of last-minute shoppers.

As the operation was winding down, two men approached a deputy and asked whether they could buy some coke. They were undeterred by the fact that the deputy was wearing a jacket that said SHERIFF across the back, as well as a cap that bore the word NARCOTICS and the letters LASD.

It’s this type of incident that causes people to say no one reads anymore.

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THERE’S ALWAYS AN L.A. ANGLE: During a boozy session in the movie “Primary Colors,” workers in the campaign of presidential candidate Jack Stanton discuss the sadness they felt over the passing of their mothers. Stanton aide Henry Burton, who hasn’t been listening, is asked: “You still got your mama, Henry?”

“No,” he replies. “She’s in Beverly Hills, with her second husband.”

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ADVICE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE? Soon after the premiere of “Primary Colors,” based on the roman a clef about the Clintons, Bill deLorimier of San Gabriel noticed an interesting coincidence. The winner of the fifth race at Santa Anita was Zippersup.

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WELL, IT IS A STRIP MALL: At a mini-market, Forrest Mulvane of Studio City saw a marquee proclaiming what appeared to be a new lingerie item, “LOWENBRA . . . 2.99.” There. I guess I’m through displaying all the unmentionables in my column drawer.

miscelLAny:

Phil Wesley received a flier from a Westside restaurant that called its opening “the fulfillment of a dream to introduce a new sensation in the preparation and serving of multinational, multicultural and ethnically diverse noodles.” Said Wesley: “Perhaps it shows my insensitivity, but somehow I’ve never before been concerned with the culture and ethnicity of noodles.” Obviously, Wesley is no politician.