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Testing Firm Fails the Spelling Portion

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You’ve heard of the why-Johnny-can’t-read problem. But what about the why-can’t-testers-spell problem? An L.A.-area teacher passed along some official practice questions that students were given to prepare for a statewide exam (see accompanying).

One wonders if the test firm used by the state has an espensive spell-check system or just uses a more inpromptu method. The result seems somewhat less than sucessful.

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TOUGH LOVE FOR RUNNERS: The in-line skaters were banned this year and none of the top finishers were caught taking shortcuts like last year, but the L.A. Marathon was not lacking for offbeat sights.

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My favorite team was the female runner in an elaborate bridal gown who was trailed by an attendant carrying the train of her dress. No groom was in sight, by the way.

Another curiosity was a spectator who, rather than cheer, actually needled the participants. “You’re never going to make it, you’re never going to make it,” he repeated. Many of the runners chuckled at his impertinence. The heckler’s insensitivity was, after all, calculated. He stationed himself about the five-mile mark, long before the runners would have been feeling real pain.

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TALK ABOUT CRUELTY: Who was the bozo who scheduled Game 3 of the Freeway Series in Chavez Ravine on Sunday--the same day as the Marathon--instead of in Anaheim? I heard from one baseball fan who gave up trying to drive to the stadium.

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QUEEN OF THE SIDEWALK: Lisa Anderson, the daughter of “Singing Candidate” Eileen Anderson, phoned that she has an agent and is working on a screenplay about her late mother. It’s about time. Her mother (see photo) was one of the more colorful characters in L.A. in the 1970s and 1980s--and not just because of her flaming red hair.

Anderson, who died in 1993, often related her speeches in song, including her idea of blowing L.A.’s smog into the desert through holes drilled in the mountains. She made 17 unsuccessful tries for office.

The former Miss Liverpool (1954) was also busy between elections, dancing in a bikini at Temple and Main streets every weekday afternoon for more than a decade. This ritual was a protest against alleged mistreatment by Secret Service agents, who restrained her when she attempted to dance an Irish jig in front of Minnesota Sen. Hubert Humphrey during the 1972 presidential campaign.

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Anderson eventually abandoned the dance engagement because of parking problems and the city’s rejection of her proposal to be designated a cultural landmark. Still, Anderson felt she left a legacy. “I was the one who gave Madonna the idea of scanty outfits,” she said later.

Hey, when it’s time to cast the lead role for Eileen Anderson . . .

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THE DAY THE TITANIC REALLY DISAPPEARED: I’ve not entered the debate over the artistic merits of “Titanic,” mainly because I didn’t see all of the movie. When I attended a showing in Long Beach, the film broke down moments after the ship sank. As we spectators sat stunned in the dark, someone said, “There’s no need to panic.”

miscelLAny:

Since the mentions here about doctors Sword and Killcutts, readers have been bombarding me with other practitioners blessed with curious names.

Paging:

Dr. Risk (submitted by David Waghalter), Dr. Paine (Howard Harrelson), Dr. Payne (Geric Johnson), Dr. Needle (Leonard Gottlieb), Dr. Stork (Jayne Johnstone) and Dr. Toothacre (Dorothy Shipley). Needless to say, Toothacre was a dentist. Oh, yes, and Paul Klein notified me of a Valley chiropractor named Bones.

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