Smart Aleck

The question April 19: Everywhere you look, a bank is swallowing another bank or a bank is merging with an insurance company. What other business unions do you think would boost the quality of our lives?

Microsoft and the IRS. They both already know too much about us, love getting into our pocketbooks, and want to monitor all of our finances.

Warren Searles, Torrance

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The phone companies GTE and Pac Bell should merge. Then GTE could spread its special service over the entire Los Angeles Basin.

Raymond Bates, Marina del Rey

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1) Starbucks and Otis elevators--this merger would help us manage our ups and downs.

2) Daylight saving time and the banking industry--we could withdraw time on an as-needed basis.

3) Rush Limbaugh and hot air balloons--just in case the balloons need a bit of help.

L.M. Heath, Culver City

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The merger of Philip Morris with Direct Casket could benefit both consumers and shareholders. Earn a free casket for a lethal number of cigarette coupons!

Robert Peoples, Brentwood

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Large banks should now merge with HMOs to accommodate people who are sick of standing in long lines.

Dwight Cates, Ventura

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Join the HMOs with the coroner’s office. Save HMOs the money wasted putting sick people in hospitals by cutting out the middle man.

Walt Hopmans, Santa Barbara

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The quality of our lives could be enhanced if there were a merger of Psychic Hotline Inc. and the Book of Revelations. Otherwise, it’s just another day.

Brian Simler, Bakersfield