Kids Say Mom’s Doing a Great Job; Mom Says She Could Use More Help

Just in time for Mother’s Day, two new studies have been released to provide aid and comfort to the beleaguered working mom.

A survey of school-age children by the Whirlpool Foundation, the philanthropic arm of the world’s largest appliance manufacturer, found that kids think U.S. mothers are doing an excellent job taking care of their families whether they stay at home or are employed by somebody who hands out paychecks on a regular basis.

However, in a poll commissioned by the advocacy group National Partnership for Women & Families, working mothers said time pressures are getting worse and that finding a balance between work life and home life is becoming more difficult despite an improving economy. These women--and some men who were polled--said they need help from employers and the government, and they’re willing to pay and vote for it.

Hey, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it, to quote the 1970s television character Super Chicken. But at least the kids think you’re doing it right.

“We decided we needed to go right to the source and ask the children how they were faring,” said Colleen Keast, former president of the Whirlpool Foundation, a $20-million nonprofit that focuses on family and children’s issues.

The children reported that their mothers, employed or not, are the ones who primarily handle their needs, from helping them get ready for school in the morning to taking them to the dentist or soccer practice.

When asked to pick out three attributes that describe their own mothers, the children most often selected “loving,” “there for children” and “smart.”

“The kids gave the moms an A+ for their efforts, but the moms themselves reported some conflict. They need more help,” Keast said.

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Nearly 90% of the mothers said that being a parent is better than they imagined it would be, but 82% also said it was harder than they ever imagined it could be.

Interviews with a nationally representative sample of 1,005 school-age children and their mothers turned up an interesting factoid: Stay-at-home moms spend only seven hours more a week with their children than do working moms.

“The difference is only one hour a day in terms of homework help or playing or talking or whatever--and remember, this is from the kids. They’re getting what they need,” Keast said.

“We think that with this report card, maybe moms could finally breathe a huge sigh of relief” and put aside their differences, Keast said. “Pitting working moms against stay-at-home moms is creating a false debate” because all are trying to do the best they can for their children.

The mothers said they need more support from employers and government, but also more help from those people they live with.

“Some of the biggest hurdles to change are going to continue to persist unless the stereotypes of men’s and women’s roles in the family change,” Keast said. The Whirlpool Foundation, based in Benton Harbor, Mich., has established a $1-million Fund for Families to support programs that address needs identified in the study.

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Separately, the study by the National Partnership for Women & Families concluded that “American workplaces and American public policies are out of step with American families.”

Nearly two-thirds of the 1,115 women and men surveyed said that time pressures on working families are getting worse, whereas only 17% thought the situation was getting better. Nearly all (90% of women and 89% of men) said that employers should be doing a better job, and a smaller chunk (72%) thought that government should do more.

The respondents placed importance on providing workers time off to care for a sick family member or a new baby (77%), and on granting employees flexibility to adjust their work hours to meet family needs (59%).

The survey found strong support for extending the Family and Medical Leave Act to employers with as few as 25 workers; the current provision calls for 50 or more.

Nearly 80% wanted to see some form of family leave insurance established, perhaps by expanding state unemployment and disability insurance, so that workers would be able financially to take necessary time off.

Respondents from both major political parties also said they would be willing to vote for congressional candidates who support positions that would help working families.

“Mothers say individual solutions are no longer the answer to the time problem, and they are looking for broader policies that make sense for families,” said Judith L. Lichtman, president of the Washington-based National Partnership, the national advocacy group formerly known as the Women’s Legal Defense Fund.

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Has your company developed an interesting way to help employees balance work life and family life? Write to Balancing Act, Business Section, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail nancy.rivera.brooks@latimes.com