No Need for Loving Son to Feel Guilty
Dear Cynthia: I consider myself a good son and I love my mother very much, but to dream about having sex with her? This has happened at least twice. I enjoy the dream very much. But when I wake up and remember the dream, it is very disturbing to me. Is this considered normal? What is really going on with me?
L.M.
Maywood
Dear Reader: I understand your discomfort. At face value, your dream reflects the ultimate taboo. Oedipus, according to Greek myth, unknowingly killed his father and married his mother. From this story, Freud came up with the term “Oedipal complex” to describe boys’ early sexual attraction to their mothers and jealousy of their fathers. Jung described an archetype, the Great Mother, as a universal symbol. From the divine and virginal mother of heaven to the wicked witches of fairy tales, Great Mothers appear in our dreams to remind us of nurturing, fertility and maternal love--and can represent women’s possessive, dominating and seductive sides as well.
Since you enjoy your dream, and only feel disturbed in judging it afterward, I believe your dream has positive meaning. In dreams, sexual intercourse often is symbolic of the merging of qualities, a desire to get closer to what the other person represents. In this case, you may be expressing a desire to become more creative or loving. It would be interesting to know if you are in a creative profession and feel inspired or more productive on the days after you have this dream.
In any case, your dream offers an opportunity to remind readers that no matter how disturbing a dream may seem on the surface, once interpreted, all dreams are positive and helpful.
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Dear Cynthia: I am a college undergraduate, awaiting a final exam. But I have never attended a class or done any of the work for this course. I don’t even know what course this is! The exam is being given in a typical classroom, and some of the people look vaguely familiar, but I don’t know them personally. I would be very interested to hear your interpretation of this recurring dream.
JEAN A. GETCHELL
Ventura
Dear Reader: This is a common dream theme. Being unprepared for a test in a dream reflects the times in life when we feel unprepared in general and are afraid of failure, harsh judgment and criticism from strangers. Remind yourself of your skills, capabilities and past successes, and this dream likely will subside.
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Dear Cynthia: I have had this recurring dream for more than 20 years! I have a definite destination but cannot reach it. There are numerous obstacles in my way. The mode of transportation varies, but my trip is always interrupted by many detours and I never arrive at my destination. This has been most frustrating. I think I have a problem.
IDA C. WELCH
Cambria
Dear Reader: Your dream is common (so is a similar dream, that of being lost and unable to return home). There are two interpretations. The first is that you are going through a time of learning and growing as a person. We all face “obstacles,” times of trouble, in our lives. These experiences help us learn and grow, get to know ourselves, find out what we are made of. Unwelcome at the time, they are nevertheless valuable, helping us to become more mature and capable.
In your dream, it seems that, though you “never arrive at [your] destination,” you do make progress: If you are meeting one obstacle after another, you must be passing one to reach the next.
The other interpretation is more spiritual: Your soul is longing to return to the spiritual world from which it came. It’s like a burning desire to go back home.
Some would say that your soul or spirit leaves your body during sleep. Free from it’s physical limitations, it travels around sightseeing, checking on loved ones or learning lessons. This is called astral projection. Many patients describe this phenomenon while under anesthesia.
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In two weeks: What does it mean when something you dream about actually happens?
* Behavioral therapist Cynthia Richmond’s column appears every other Tuesday. To contact her, write to “In Your Dreams,” Life & Style, the Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053; send a fax to (213) 237-0732, or e-mail her at cynthrich@aol.com. Please include the name of the city where you live and a daytime phone number. Letters should be no longer than 100 words and cannot be returned. “In Your Dreams” should be read for entertainment purposes only.