Hybrid Mice Don’t Make It to the Lab

An associate professor at USC’s medical school claims Burlington Air Express killed 18 of her lab mice, letting them freeze to death during a cross-country flight.

Elyse Schauwecker is seeking damages in excess of $300,000 from the Irvine-based shipper for the demise of all but two members of her colony of genetically manipulated mice. She accuses Burlington of being “grossly negligent and cruel” for subjecting her traveling rodents to “freezing temperatures and extreme altitude” without giving them “suitable shelter and kindness.”

Schauwecker, who specializes in neurology, hired Burlington to ship her research project from the University of Virginia to USC. She is studying the genetics of neurological disorders such as Alzheimer’s and Hodgkins, and the colony was the result of five months of breeding and testing. They were third-generation, genetically unique and irreplaceable, the researcher claimed in her Los Angeles Superior Court lawsuit.

Burlington promised to ship the mice in climate-controlled conditions, according to the suit.

Although Burlington officials had no comment, the professor’s lawyer, Denise Nardi, said the company blamed the deaths on Schauwecker, saying she had not properly packed the mice.

“There are certain protocols for shipping live laboratory animals,” Nardi said. “I don’t know what they expected her to do. Bundle them up in little parkas?”

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THE DRESSER: Dustin Hoffman dressed in women’s clothing in “Tootsie,” but when Los Angeles magazine used a computer last year to deck him out in a designer evening gown and heels, the actor sued for $5 million.

Now, a federal judge has agreed that he may have a case.

Because Hoffman’s image was used for a promotion for designer clothes, U.S. District Judge Dickran Tevrizian ruled that the photos were commercially exploitative rather than informative. As a result, the judge said, the usual 1st Amendment protections don’t apply. He turned down the magazine’s motion to dismiss the case.

Hoffman accuses the magazine and its corporate parents, Fairchild Publications and Capital Cities, of turning him into an involuntary and unpaid fashion model in a March 1997 fashion spread. The photos were used without his knowledge or permission, Hoffman’s suit claims.

The accompanying text reads, “Dustin Hoffman isn’t a drag in a butter-colored silk gown by Richard Tyler and Ralph Lauren heels.”

“They just got a male model who posed in a gown like the ‘Tootsie’ gown and put Dustin’s head on it,” said his lawyer, Bert Fields.

The magazine’s fashion spread has inspired at least one other federal case.

Actress Karen Lynn Gorney, who starred with John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever,” is suing the magazine for $2 million over a computer-enhanced photo showing her wearing a see-through silk blouse.

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ENQUIRING MINDS: A Los Angeles Superior Court judge has ruled that a jury should decide whether an ex-husband’s statements about Melissa Gilbert’s mothering skills are offensive.

Gilbert’s ex, Bo Brinkman, was the source of a National Enquirer story calling the actress a “deadbeat mother.” The story also said that Gilbert ignored her children and made them watch reruns of the television series “Little House on the Prairie.” As a child, Gilbert played wholesome, freckle-faced Laura Ingalls on the show.

Gilbert’s lawyer, Marcia Harris, said that because the actress is a public figure, the judge had to determine whether the statements could be viewed as offensive. She is suing the National Enquirer for libel and invasion of privacy.

Superior Court Judge Marlene Kristovich tossed out counts alleging conspiracy and intentional infliction of emotional distress, said the tabloid’s attorney, Paul Gaffney.

Gilbert’s original suit, filed three years ago, was dismissed in Superior Court and resuscitated by the state Court of Appeal.

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SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL: Another rocker, another purloined sex tape, another 11th-hour temporary restraining order. It’s deja vu all over again.

This time Perry Farrell, lead singer of the band Porno for Pyros, has turned to lawyer Edwin F. McPherson to keep his sexual capers off the Net. The lawyer also represents Poison singer Bret Michaels, who recently won a preliminary injunction blocking Internet distribution of his vampire-themed sexcapades with then-girlfriend Pamela Anderson.

Farrell, a former Jane’s Addiction singer and creator of the Lollapalooza alternative music fest, is seeking $40 million in damages from Fairchild Kirby Inc.

No one could be located to speak on the company’s behalf. Its Web site has been hyping the 60-minute Farrell home video, which it claims shows the rocker having sex and doing drugs. He also is said to expound on his philosophy of life and claim: “I am the Devil.”

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all just kept the lens cap on?