Big Sister Puts Heart in Relationship

Sitting in a sun-dappled booth at Paty’s Restaurant in Toluca Lake, Ruth sank her teeth into a fist-sized bacon burger, napkin at the ready to catch any drippings heading for her chin. Leaving her face, Ruth’s hand stopped briefly to touch a gold half-heart dangling from a chain around her neck, making sure the cascading condiments hadn’t made contact with the jewelry.

As though she were Ruth’s mirror image, Patricia Wakely Wolf, seated across the table, made a quick check of her half of the heart necklace--the piece with “Big Sister” engraved on the front--and gently touched it.

“Ruth’s half says ‘Little Sister,’ ” Wolf said, as she positioned the jewelry at the hollow of her neck. “Isn’t that perfect?”

About as perfect a match as, say, Wolf, a tall, soft-spoken writer, and Ruth, a diminutive, brown-eyed 15-year-old who finishes her mentor’s sentences with clear, articulate thoughts.

“We have so much in common,” Ruth said. “We’re like the same person, but she’s older.”

“Ruth and I are like soul sisters,” Wolf added. “We’re very comfortable together and we think alike.”

Wolf’s ability to tap into teenage angst and offer unconditional support spurred her to join the Big Sisters program a year ago. Nearly every weekend since, the volunteer and her younger companion have dined out, gone to movies, visited museums and most important, shared confidences.

“My mother was someone all my friends could confide in,” Wolf said. “She doesn’t judge or condemn. I wanted to be a good listener too. This program gives me that chance.”

The Big Sisters of Los Angeles, which pairs female mentors with at-risk girls ages 6 to 16, has offered educational and recreational activities to the carefully matched partners--currently numbering about 400--for more than 18 years.

Wolf, a Studio City resident, said she has been able to bring to her “little sister” the benefits of the warm, loving upbringing she received as a child in Florida. Her father, a former city councilman and avid outdoorsman, imbued her with a sense of civic responsibility, generosity and adventure.

After her graduation from the University of Central Florida in 1977, the aspiring actress moved to New York, where she pursued a stage and modeling career for a number of years.

Seeking a warmer climate and better job possibilities, Wolf moved to Los Angeles on New Year’s Eve in 1994. She’s been busy with acting work and UCLA writing classes since.

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After reading a newspaper article about the Big Sisters last year, Wolf applied for the volunteer job and was quickly accepted.

“I got hooked immediately,” she said. “I had experienced some challenges as a teenager and thought I could steer a young girl along the right path.”

Ruth, a high school freshman, said she has had difficulty communicating with her mother and siblings, but has learned through her relationship with Wolf to express her feelings more freely and seek positive solutions to her problems.

“Ruth and Patricia are a wonderful match,” said Big Sisters spokeswoman Susan Pasternak. “They are a good influence on each other and they’ve discovered things about themselves they didn’t know before.”

“I get a sense of family out of the Big Sisters,” Wolf said. “I went into the program thinking I would do something great for someone, but I quickly realized that they’re doing something great for me.”

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