Saving Not-So-Private Ryan

He has been playing some roller hockey, and while every bit the humble football player even after winning the Super Bowl as Washington’s starting quarterback, to be honest, he says, he’s pretty good on skates.

He has also been playing some golf, but Mark Rypien has not been in the gym, has not picked up a football since leaving the Atlanta Falcons after learning his young son, Andrew, had an inoperable brain tumor.

It has been almost three months now since his 3-year-old child died, “and we have our tough days still, and will--from here to eternity,” Rypien said. “There isn’t a day that goes by without thinking about little Andrew and how special he was, but the girls are in school . . . they have to go to soccer practice . . . we have to keep going.”

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Ryan Leaf now needs Mark Rypien. The San Diego Chargers, already losing the public relations impact of adding a promising young quarterback to their payroll, are in danger of losing Ryan Leaf to an acute case of immaturity. The Chargers now need Mark Rypien. “A whole career could be crumbling if [Leaf] doesn’t wise up and understand he isn’t handling things the right way,” Charger General Manager Bobby Beathard said in published remarks this week. “I don’t know if it’s a lack of respect for people or just being selfish.”

Leaf to date has shown no inclination to listen to any adult in his life, defying team officials, his agent, his parents, his former college coach, teammates and former Charger players.

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A little more than a week ago, Leaf met with Rypien in ceremonies at Washington State, where the two went to school separated by a dozen years, and Leaf endowed a scholarship in Andrew’s name. The two talked, Rypien offering encouragement and advice, and then they parted.

Later that night Leaf made a fool of himself, so far the only thing that he has excelled at since joining the Chargers. According to published reports, he ran into trouble in three bars, telling patrons at one stop that he could buy all their fathers with the money given him to play football.

Returning to San Diego, he cavalierly dismissed his antics, reminded everyone that he couldn’t care less what they thought about him and then delivered yet another poor performance on the football field against the Denver Broncos.

The Chargers had seen enough, and while they would have undoubtedly swallowed hard had he completed more passes and played better against Denver, they finally told him to go to the bench and grow up.

“He’s at that point now that what he does, how he reacts will determine what we’re saying about Ryan Leaf 10 years from now,” Rypien said. “Are we talking about what a great quarterback this guy became, or does someone have to ask, ‘Hey, whatever happened to that Leaf guy?’ ”

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Two weeks ago, the Rypiens’ longtime family dog, a golden retriever, died. One punch after another, some just pokes maybe, but others with such force.

“We’ve been beaten down so much right now that sometimes it’s like, what do we do now?” said Annette, Rypien’s wife, who had to deal with cervical cancer and surgery during her son’s fight with brain cancer. “It’s not the same thing, or anything, but the dog dies and you know it’s like, OK, I can’t do this anymore.

“God must be trying to tell us something. . . . Some days you want to stick your head in the sand and act like the world will just go away.”

But then the phone rings, she said, or the doorbell and someone wants to go to lunch or just talk, “and you say to yourself, ‘Yes, I can make it.’

“So many people--strangers--called or wrote letters or sent something when they heard about Andrew being sick--from Vermont, Canada, Maine, all over the country,” she said, her own medical problems gone now. “It was just ‘Hey, we’re here for you.’ You don’t think you need all that, that you can make it through everything on your own, but I can’t tell you how much that helped.”

She’s laughing today as she talks, and she’s telling stories about her daughters, Amber and Angela, 10 and 8 now, and the wonderful differences in their personalities.

“Andrew was my special little boy, my joy, but I want my daughters growing up knowing how special and joyous they are. . . . They have their lives to live, and I don’t want them to ever think the world is too much for them to handle.”

In part, that’s why if the Chargers called, she would hand the telephone to her husband. Maybe it is time for him to play football again.

“It’s whatever Mark is comfortable with,” she said. “It’s totally up to him. We’re not in a newlywed situation here, and it’s like the way we made decisions regarding Andrew--no regrets five years down the road.”

Mark Rypien has watched a little football, has given some thought to helping the Redskins or maybe working as Leaf’s mentor in San Diego, but in truth, he still remains glued to his family in Post Falls, Idaho.

“I’m enjoying what I’m doing at home,” he said, “but my girls were 3 and 1 when we won the Super Bowl, and now they are 10 and 8 and asking me, ‘Dad, did you ever play the game?’ ”

There was a time when Rypien envisioned throwing a football to his son, attending his kid’s high school football games and telling stories about his own glory days, but that has been taken away.

“Through this whole situation, Andrew taught us some things,” Rypien said. “Sometimes we get caught up in things, but husband, wife, the kids, that’s the most important thing. Family.

“Annette and I have recommitted ourselves. We’ve talked to people who have gone through this, and a lot of situations come out bad. But we’ve found each other again. It’s like she jokes: That old husband was a stick in the mud, but I kind of like this new boyfriend.

“I wouldn’t put this on my worst enemy what happened, yet if you have someone who meant as much to us as Andrew, you want everyone to share in his death the celebration of truly what a remarkable person he was.”

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Mark Rypien is 36, by Doug Flutie-Randall Cunningham-Steve DeBerg revival standards this season, in the prime of his career as a quarterback.

“Not this year,” he said, “I’m not in football shape to return now.”

But as one NFL general manager pointed out this week, “The Chargers don’t need Mark Rypien’s body, they need his mind.”

The Chargers remain reluctant to call, however. Beathard said he considered it early on, telephoned, but Rypien’s son was ill and the call was not returned. It was brought up again but received a lukewarm response from Coach Kevin Gilbride before he was fired.

The next excuse was the salary cap, the team claiming it had no money, although it has plenty of overpaid players. Good teams find a way to get around the system, and what could be a more important investment than developing a franchise quarterback who is apparently hellbent on self-destructing?

“Hiring June Jones was the right thing to do if we couldn’t get a veteran quarterback,” Beathard said. “There was an attraction to Rypien and maybe we should have gone that way, but I don’t know. I think June has had a calming effect on Ryan. He likes June.”

June Jones is a wonderful guy, and he deserves a chance for success as a head coach, but he has worked directly with Leaf since the draft, and Leaf has trampled all over his advice.

And now Jones, in the fight of his career to hang on as head coach of the Chargers at season’s end, will be working to win games with Craig Whelihan as his starting quarterback.

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Leaf needs help. The Chargers, to date, have been no help, afraid of unsettling their prima donna on the football field. Now they have sent him to the bench as if three weeks of “time out” are going to make him suddenly mature.

But being the brat that he has been, he undoubtedly expects Whelihan to fail, expecting everyone to call for his return and save the day. And he’s right, of course, the circle of trouble remaining unbroken.

“He’s in denial,” Rypien said. “It’s like some of my relatives who are alcoholics--the hardest thing is getting them to admit, ‘I need help.’ Maybe that’s the hardest part for him.

“I’m in his corner; I want to be in his corner. I hate to see a guy like this with the talent he has do something like this to himself.”

The Chargers talked to Stan Humphries recently about returning in a limited role but remained concerned about putting him on the field again after a series of concussions forced him to retire prematurely. They thought about hiring him to walk the sidelines with Leaf, but Humphries now works in Los Angeles on Sundays as a broadcaster, which offers more career possibilities than that of a quarterback baby-sitter.

“He needs someone who has gone through the same thing,” Rypien said. “And brother, I have been through it all 10 times worse. They were just waiting to get rid of me in Washington two years after going to the Super Bowl. They said I was the only guy who could overthrow Noriega.

“There’s so much that can still happen to this kid. There’s a lawsuit waiting out there for him with his temper, people knowing he has money, and believe me, someone will challenge him. He had the city of San Diego in the palm of his hand, and look how quickly it’s turned. . . . It’s just a shame what’s happened with him.

“I’d like to help, and maybe Ryan just needs someone to listen. Whatever, I know this: How he handles this situation will determine how long he lasts in the NFL.”