A Divorce Penalty--for the Sake of the Kids

“The School of Heart Knocks” by Lynn Smith (Life & Style, Sept. 10) mentions new programs to reduce divorce, created by lawyers and therapists among others. What’s wrong with this picture?

Divorce lawyer Lynne Gold-Bikin of Philadelphia says, “You can’t tell people who don’t like each other they can’t get divorced.” Why not, unless it’s uncontested? There needs to be stiff penalties for the party wishing to break this contract--something we do not have today. The lawyer goes on to ask, “Are you going to keep a woman from moving away by saying she can’t take her child?” It’s not “her child,” Ms. Gold-Bikin, it’s their child. By creating a child, parents have forfeited their independence for their child’s need. Does this mean “she can’t take a job that will make her a better life?” Yes. If her career is more important than her child, she never should have had a child. Once you decide to have a child, you have made an 18-year commitment, and we, as society, should not let you out of this commitment.

The consistent theme of lawyers and therapists is on “me” (guilt relief) and not “we” (the family). Until we take steps to ensure children are raised by both parents, we will continue to see a decrease in child well-being and an increase in crime and gangs--the new families of broken homes.

JOHN SMITH

Policy analyst

Alliance for Non-Custodial

Parents Rights

Beverly Hills