Maybe We’re All Getting Along Better Than We Think

“Hey, honey, guess what! People just moved in next door who don’t speak our language or share our cultural customs! Isn’t that exciting?”

Chances are, those sentiments aren’t uttered too often in Orange County, where the melting pot continues to bubble and where people wring their hands over how to deal with it.

Here’s a novel thought: Perhaps we wring too much.

Is it possible, just possible, we should cut ourselves a little slack? Is it possible we’re not quite as retrograde as we think?

You don’t have to be a census taker to realize that Orange County’s ethnic makeup is changing radically. A visit to almost any grocery store or restaurant will do.

A county that was 99% white when today’s baby boomers were born is now about 59% white. The population has grown by a factor of 10 in their lifetime, and the county is peopled by a broad mix of Europeans, Latinos and Asians.

Are we really doing all that poorly as we collectively muddle through?

Or are we largely reflecting--and in a lot of ways, bettering--the performance of others around the globe who live in multiethnic environments?

Believe me, I often wonder if we aren’t being too hard on ourselves as we judge our behavior in this multicultural county. The sweep of human history, including current events from around the world, suggests that living in racial and ethnic harmony is not an easy skill to master. Compared with places like Northern Ireland and the former Yugoslavia, we’re a model of interpersonal relations.

Of course, we want to be better than that. We want to be better than anyone. Orange County is a proverbial laboratory of multiculturalism, and everyone’s goal should be to make this the best lab anywhere.

My two cents’ worth is not to say childishly that all is rosy. The point of my generosity of spirit today is to suggest, with an eye to moving toward a more perfect union in Orange County, that we take a more sober look at how we’re getting along.

And, to take it another step, to ask why some of us react to strangers as we do.

My sense is that the shrinking white majority often feels defensive as it openly laments the changing ethnic makeup. The majority hears that its lamenting is tantamount to racism or some other antisocial behavior.

A helpful starting point in improving ethnic relations might be for the emerging ethnic minorities to recognize those laments as fairly typical human reactions. Is there a country or city anywhere on the planet that eagerly embraces noticeable changes to its local customs?

I doubt it. Were I Mexican and living in a sleepy all-Mexican village that, rather quickly, was becoming increasingly Americanized, I might squawk.

Maybe that would brand me anti-American; more likely it would brand me as someone protective of what I’d grown up with.

Only a modern-day fool would say there’s no xenophobia in Orange County. But it doesn’t move the ball forward to attribute every action or reaction of the white majority to dislike of foreigners. It may knock down a barrier or two if new citizens said to themselves, “You know what, I’d probably react exactly the same way if my turf were in the process of a make-over.”

With that said, at some point the burden must shift to the shrinking majority and it must make peace with change and diversity.

For one thing, it’s good for the psyche. One can waste a lifetime fighting the inevitable. But much beyond that is a simple reading of U.S. history, which is the story of diversity.

Foreign-born, foreign-speaking people have been coming to America for as long as we’ve put up the national shingle. The history I’ve read suggests the locals reflexively feared for the future (Protestants believed Roman Catholics had sinister intentions, for example) and survived every time.

Our local Orange County experiment may be more testing, because color is added to the mix. For some reason, whites who are jumpy enough when other white immigrants arrive in town seem to get extra jumpy if the newcomer has a different skin color.

Task for the next millennium: Get over it.

For Orange County, the choice is to let diversity discombobulate us or inspire us.

Believe it or not, I’m not expecting to reverse the course of human history with this column.

The challenge is rather daunting, and history may record that we fell flat on our multicolored faces.

But at this moment, I’m merely suggesting that we aren’t as far behind the eight ball as we sometimes tell ourselves. This diversity business already is working in lots of shops and schools and even households in Orange County.

Who knows? Someday we may score the greatest upset in history and actually perfect it.

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers can reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail: dana.parsons@latimes.com