Learning to Be American

Waiting for her appointment in a manicure shop, a female customer noticed the husband of one of the Vietnamese manicurists waiting for his wife to finish work. He had brought along their toddler daughter who was trying to master the art of walking. Coaching her in Vietnamese, the father walked closely behind her to cushion any fall.

The customer smiled at the toddler who responded positively. In Vietnamese, her father encouraged the child to approach the customer. Slowly, the little girl made her way toward the woman, and when she neared, in Vietnamese the father said something to his daughter, then in English instructed, “give me five.” The child lifted up her hand and triumphantly slapped the extended hand of the delighted customer.

The 3-year-old daughter of an American mother and Iranian father primarily identified herself as Iranian. This troubled her American grandmother. One day after preschool, the child began skipping around the kitchen table singing a traditional American folksong. The grandmother’s worries dispelled as she recognized how her granddaughter was assimilating by mimicking her classmates.

In one classroom, Yemeni girls, dressed in head scarves with long overcoats over their clothes, covered their notebooks with Spice Girls’ stickers.

These stories show different ways that immigrants consciously and unconsciously learn American customs. Schools and peer pressure have a powerful influence in this process.