An Inspired Double Bill

Paul Kovich of L.A. notes that a few nights ago the programming for KCET-TV Channel 28 included “In Performance at the White House,” followed by a show titled “Liar’s Tale.”

MOVING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: Marxist historian Steve Stoliar says that in addition to being investigated by the FBI, as the Nation magazine recently reported, Groucho was also on President Richard Nixon’s “Enemies List.”

Stoliar, author of “Raised Eyebrows: My Years Inside Groucho’s House,” says the comic was no fan of the politician. After losing the 1960 presidential election, Nixon moved into Groucho’s Trousdale Estates neighborhood. Stoliar says that when asked how he felt about having Nixon as a neighbor, Groucho replied, “Better here than in the White House.”

DIFFERENT SORT OF VANITY: I’ve heard of unlisted addresses and phone numbers--but an unlisted license plate? James Van Hise submitted a snapshot he took in the San Fernando Valley of a mysterious vanity plate that said UNKNOWN (see photo).

A REAL BLUE-RIBBON EXHIBIT: During its 76-year history, the L.A. County Fair has seen all manner of births, but never, as far as anyone can tell, the arrival of a baby human being. It happened the other evening though when a 7-pound girl was born to Emilia Garcia of Arleta.

Garcia knew she was close and had thought a walk around the grounds might speed up the process, said fair spokesman Sid Robinson. Did it ever. She checked into the fair’s first aid station while her husband went for the family van. Instead, she delivered 10 minutes later with the help of a doctor who was on duty.

Officials sent the mother flowers and the child (as yet unnamed) a lifetime pass to the fair. “Someone wondered if this would result in pregnant women coming out here hoping they’ll get lifetime passes,” Robinson quipped.

CAREFUL OR YOU’LL BE TERMINATED: Doug Stokes of Duarte submitted a mortuary ad with what sounded like some eerie language (see accompanying).

NO WHITE HOUSE JOKES, PLEASE: Robert Crawford of Studio City came upon a pager that has “unlimited massaging” capability (see accompanying). Oh, these electronic marvels!

NO SALE FINAL: I’m not one for chatting during routine transactions. That’s why I have to complain, in my best Andy Rooney whine, about businesses that force their clerks to make sales pitches (and, thereby, force me to make a response). Here are some questions I’ve received at:

* A bank, as I deposit a check: “Would you be interested in overdraft protection?”

* A market, as I make a purchase: “Do you have a club card?”

* A bookstore, as I make a purchase: “Do you have our discount card? Would you like to get one?”

* A movie theater, after I order a small drink: “Would you like a medium drink for 25 cents more?” Followed by: “How about some candy?”

* A phone recording: “AT & T Directory Link Service can complete your call automatically after you receive directory assistance for an extra 50 cents. To accept, press 1 now. To decline, press 2.”

Enough!

Obviously, there are a few pitches that really do have the consumer’s interests at heart. By the way, have I told you about the new Only in L.A. Credit Card?

miscelLAny:

A colleague visited Pasadena’s landmark Gamble House, which was used in the movie “Back to the Future” as the home of Doc, the guy who builds a time machine in a Delorean. So what did my colleague see parked outside? A Delorean with the license plate OUTTIME. In the movie, Doc’s time machine bore the license plate OUTATIME. The Gamble House says it ain’t theirs. Strange, but I’m also outatime.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.