Toasts of the Town

Ladies and gentlemen, scenesters and wannabes, Calendar Weekend presents the Club Buzz awards, in honor of all those creatures of the night who long ago gave up sleep in order to show you a good time. It’s our turn to give something back, so here to present our inaugural Buzz awards is the diva of the hour, our little trophy doll Betty. Please, hold all applause until the end. It’s Betty’s first time and she’s quite nervous.

* Best New Dance Club: Make-Up. If Joseph Brooks believes Make-Up is the best dance club he’s ever created, who can argue? Brooks, who partnered up with Jason Lavitt and Pat Briggs to throw this monthly glam rock affair at the El Rey Theatre, is as legendary as the two decades worth of clubs he helped pioneer--including the Veil, Sin-A-Matic and Coven 13. Make-Up, which features a glam rock cover band and performers from the genre’s ‘70s heyday, could only have been created by Brooks. If he hadn’t moved to L.A. after meeting interesting Angelenos at the Sex Pistols Winterland show, hadn’t spent 1977 and 1978 living in London at the peak of the punk era, or hadn’t upon his return to L.A. opened the import record store Vinyl Fetish, Make-Up couldn’t exist. Thankfully, it does.

Make-Up at the El Rey Theatre this Saturday (the first Saturday of every month), 5515 Wilshire Blvd., (323) 769-5500. 18 and over, $10 cover.

* Long-Running Dance Club: Cherry. If Jesse Helms would only stop by this Friday night dance club at the Love Lounge in Hollywood for a few hours, maybe he’d be less worried about Tinky Winky sporting a purple handbag and loosen up that tie a little. Cherry, now entering its fifth year, offers scientific proof that we all come in different shapes, sizes and sexual proclivities--and guess what, it’s o-tay. Hosted by Bryan Rabin and DJs Mike Messex and Joseph Brooks (naturally), Cherry’s key ingredient is good musical sensibilities: focusing on ‘80s new wave, glam and metal, but not limiting itself to any period.

Cherry at the Love Lounge on Fridays, 657 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood. (213) 896-9099. 21 and over, $10 cover.

* Best Bands Per Square Inch: The Viper Room. Obviously. It’s not just that if you lined up early enough last week, you had a shot at seeing one of Stone Temple Pilots’ best shows ever, it’s that artists of their caliber choose to play the Viper Room all the time. From Hole to Green Day to Everclear to Goldy, this small venue has the world’s biggest stars--not when they’re past their prime, but when they’re at their most ferocious.

The Viper Room, 8852 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 358-1880, 21 and over, cover varies.

* Best Old-School Nightclub: The Troubadour. Although it recently lost its legendary founder, Doug Weston, this comfortable Santa Monica Boulevard rock club has reemerged in recent years as a first-rate club to see new and used live music. Today’s clubs can’t thrive on their past--most current clubgoers don’t give two bones that Elton John once played there. To succeed today, you’ve gotta live in the present, and the Troubadour works hard at maintaining its contemporary relevance.

The Troubadour, 9081 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 276-6168. All ages, cover varies.

* Best New School Nightclub: The House of Blues. Sure wish the HOB had its act together and would throw a fifth anniversary party worthy of its standing-room-only April ’94 opener, when Aerosmith inaugurated a stage that would quickly include performances by the best and brightest artists of our times. With so many Hollywood venues still leery of booking major rap events, the House of Blues has invited every great rapper to bring in the noise--among them, the late Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls and last week’s “Pioneers of Hip-Hop” show, with EPMD, Run-D.M.C., Slick Rick and Doug E. Fresh (performing together for the first time in more than a decade). It was also the first major nightclub to invite international, hard-core rock en espanol acts. Despite being forced out last year, Isaac Tigrett, the club’s visionary founder, should be proud of his creation.

House of Blues, 8430 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (323) 848-5100. Age limit varies, cover varies.

* Best Westside Nightclub: Sugar. From its sexy, see-through design (check out those ban~os, baby) to its Euro sensibilities, the new Santa Monica dance club--which features different DJs and themes five nights a week--is defying geographical laws by bringing Hollywood to the Westside. Sugar is as sweet and intoxicating as its name and is a very good choice for singles trying to cool down that spring fever.

Sugar, 814 Broadway Ave., Santa Monica, (310) 899-1989. Open Wednesday-Saturday. 21 and over, cover varies.

* Best Eastside Nightclub: The Garage. Never thought I’d see the day when citizens of Silver Lake embraced Hollywood promoters, but it’s happened. Bought by H-wood club operators two years ago, the Garage wanted to be all things to all people and more than anything, it wanted locals to call it home. Initially, it met with resistance--the mere fact it offered valet parking was enough to scare off the arty residents. The club, however, has become more pivotal than Spaceland in recent months, with many of the original Garage promoters moving back in and creating an atmosphere that feels like home--with gay, multiculti, punk, rock and glam scenes thriving here. Credit can be given to the owners, who revamped the venue for the better, making it three times its original size and creating an enticing raised stage.

The Garage, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silver Lake, (323) 662-6802. 21 and over, cover varies.

* Most Improved: The Key Club. After all the hoopla of Billboard Live and its very public failure, I never thought the Key Club had a prayer. Its owners, however, did something right: They hired Damian Brawner, an Orange County promoter who had an inside-track on contemporary music and good relationships with numerous hot young bands. Where Billboard Live failed to attract “heat-seeking” artists on a consistent basis, the Key Club’s having much better luck.

Key Club, 9039 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 786-1712. Age limit and cover varies.

* In Most Need of Improvement: The Whisky and the Roxy. C’mon, man, rock clubs cannot exist on history alone. Although the Whisky recently celebrated its 35th anniversary, it met with little more than a wimper. Like the Roxy, it needs some serious plastic surgery to keep up with the competition.

The Whisky, 8901 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 652-4202. The Roxy, 9009 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 278-9457. Both all ages, cover varies.

* Most Likely to Succeed: The new Moguls. Big thangs are in the works for this live music club just south of Hollywood Boulevard, which plans to reopen at the end of summer as a 500-capacity showcase club. We don’t want to ruin it for everybody, but let’s just say the new operators are aiming for comfort and class--two elements missing from most of the current showcase venues.