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Brand-Name Tattoos Pegged for the Ultimate Consumer

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Question from April 20:

What company mascot would you have tattooed on your body if it guaranteed a lifetime of free product?

I would have the company mascot of the U.S. Mint tattooed anywhere on my body!!!!

--CAMILLE WATKINS, Los Osos

Juan Valdez, without a second thought. We eat out daily and don’t mind the price of meals, but to pay $1.50 for 10 cents’ worth of coffee, that little tattoo would save us a bundle!

--JODY VESCIO, Walnut

I would have Star 98.7 tattooed on my bod if it would get me free front-and-center concert tickets to my favorite rock concerts for life.

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--MICHELE BANKER, Pico Rivera

I would happily be tattooed for any big gas company that will give me a lifetime of free fill-ups, starting right now.

--SUSAN NOOGER, Winnetka

I would be willing to have Tiffany’s little blue box tattooed on me, even where it would show, to have a lifetime of free products from them. Wouldn’t anyone? Failing that, In-N-Out would be good. I’m easy.

--ELIZABETH FREEMAN,

Redlands

Well, obviously, Bank of America on the bicep, followed by Tiffany on the ankle and perhaps a small Mercedes at the base of the spine. A Jaguar wreathing the ring finger would be nice.

--ANN FERGUSON, Silver Lake

I would have the Apple logo tattooed on a part of my body, cause an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

--FREDERICK RUSSELL, Indio

For a lifetime of free product I would tattoo the Ferrari prancing stallion on my forehead. I can hear Enzo spinning in his grave at high RPMs right now!

--MICHAEL GRANDPRE, Torrance

What tattoos would I get? NONE! Everyone knows a tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

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--DONN HUFFSMITH, La Canada

Blue Cross.

--STEVE WALKER, Costa Mesa

Question for April 27:

Innovative Concepts in Chicago produces a variety of candy placebos to cure personal problems, including “Cheepo Medication for Tightwads” and “Bad Hair Day Pills” (see story, this page). What other fake medicines do you suggest they produce?

Send replies of 25 words or fewer to Smart Aleck, SoCal Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail socalliving@latimes.com. Include your name and hometown.

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