Timeless Tips for Better Living

The thought of inflatable breasts sends us running for our antiquated little book of “Don’t: A Manual of Mistakes & Improprieties More or Less Prevalent in Conduct and Speech.” This British book, first published in 1880, takes us back to a simpler time, well before artificial body parts. (In a previous column we shared the books’ hygiene advice for gentlemen. Perhaps you remember: Don’t blow your nose on your fingers or spit on the carpet).

Now, a few tips for the ladies:

Wear your bonnets. “No face can be lovely when exposed to the full glare of the sun. A bonnet should cast the features partly in shade, for the delicate half-shadows that play in the eyes and come and go on the cheek give to woman’s beauty one of its greatest charms.” (Aside from shadowy charm, hats also helped women in those pre-sunscreen days to prevent wrinkles, blotches and skin cancers, but who knew?)

And this: “Don’t supplement the charms of nature by the use of the color box. Fresh air, exercise, the morning bath and proper food will give to the cheeks nature’s own tints, and no other have any true beauty.”

And this warning for sweet tooths: “It must be said that American women devour an immense deal of rubbish . . . If they would banish from the table preserves, pastry, cakes and similar indigestible articles, and never touch candy, their appetite for wholesome food would be greatly increased.”

Oh, bother, but that wouldn’t be much fun at all.