Are You Together? The Nitty Gritty Party Guide

The time for panic has passed.

You have missed the moment to think, “What have I done?” and punt before you mailed the invitations.

So take a deep breath, and forge ahead with the plan for your holiday party. Take special notice of that word “plan.” It’s the key to success, whether you’re pulling off a great recipe, making a stunning centerpiece or simply surviving.

Planning is what makes a party come together. Sit down and organize a list of what you’ll need, what you must do and when you’ll do it. That way you’ll feel more relaxed as you check off each of those “to dos” on your list.

One of the most important parts of your party plan should be choosing a theme. The theme can be something as simple as a holiday open house for friends or neighbors.

Or it can be as fanciful as “a celestial party about the stars in the universe for New Year’s or a playful Christmas party at the North Pole,” says Wendy Moyle, founder and co-owner with her husband of www.ShindigZ.com, a Web site that offers free advice about entertaining and sells party products.

“People often skip that stage,” says Moyle, referring to a theme. “But it makes planning easier. Once you have the theme in your mind, it helps with invitations, the food, decorations and favors.”

Jay Ginewsky, owner of The Whisk catering company in Canton, Conn., gives even more basic advice. Unless you hire an event planner to oversee every detail, Ginewsky recommends the KISS approach: Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Here are some ideas that can help you pull off a wingding of a party:

* Whenever you feel an anxiety attack coming on, repeat Ginewsky’s mantra: “KISS, KISS, KISS.” No one expects you to be Martha Stewart. Most of your guests will be so grateful to attend a holiday party that they didn’t have to organize, that you will be able to do no wrong.

* Go with a party idea that feels comfortable. The year-end holidays offer a lot of inspiration: tree-decorating, caroling, a cookie exchange, ringing in the New Year.

Moyle hosts an annual cookie exchange for 35 women. Everyone brings four dozen cookies and a wrapped book for a grab bag. The food is a help-yourself menu of soup, salad and sandwiches. At the end of the party, each guest gets an assortment of cookies transported home on platters Moyle provides.

* Clean, but not as you do when your mother-in-law comes to visit. Put the biggest pieces of clutter in boxes or laundry baskets and stash them in a room--any room--where the guests won’t go. Stuff dirty clothes in the washing machine and clean clothes that you haven’t gotten around to folding in the dryer. Close the lids and voila!

* Create the mood. Keep the lighting medium to low (the better not to see the dust) and light candles to set a festive mood. Ginewsky suggests votive candles as a simple way to create atmosphere. “You can also get fancy and use artichokes to hold the candles,” he says. Cut off the stem so that the artichoke sits upright, then remove the center leaves to make space to hold the candle. Aromatic candles, which are all the rage now, are a twofer: soft lighting and an inviting aroma.

* The nose knows what it likes, and a smart host will appeal to that sense. When planning the menu, “select one or two items that will make the kitchen smell good,” Moyle says, such as brie wrapped in crescent roll dough and baked. “You’ll get the smell of cheese and pastry and have something warm to eat.” Have a pot of mulled cider--or at the least, a few cinnamon sticks and cloves in water--simmering on the stove.

* Rest those tired legs. Shop on-line or at a grocery store or specialty shop that delivers. Internet or catalog shopping allows you to shop at night, instead of trying to sneak in calls at work.

Just be sure to do your Web browsing early and learn how far in advance a company needs an order. The same advice goes for catalogs.

Many specialty food companies advertise in the back of food magazines. Ginewsky says he has found that Saveur and Fine Cooking have the best listings.

* Decorate the party site. We’re not talking about a designer show house here. One good thing about December parties is that even the busiest households have usually already scattered decorations here and there for Christmas or Hanukkah.

Even some twinkling lights, pine cones, seasonal plants and big red bows to decorate an archway or the stairs’ banister will add a festive touch for not much money.

* Make an edible centerpiece. An assortment of fresh fruits in a cut glass bowl, a beautifully decorated cake (purchased, of course) on a pedestal plate or an aromatic candle surrounded by domino-like rows of cookies will add interest to a table.

* What to eat? If soups are your forte, mix up a big pot of a hearty soup and serve it in mugs with thick slices of bread. Check your local bakery--supermarket or independently owned--for the kinds of rustic breads with chewy crusts. If you hate to cook, opt for a wine and cheese party.

“Look for foods that make things easy,” Ginewsky says. Specialty stores and supermarkets offer an array of prepared or jarred foods such as toppings for bruschetta or an assortment of fresh olives. You might want to turn to a caterer for one or two interesting orders or an entree, then take care of simple side dishes yourself.

Ginewsky also suggests preparing as much of the menu as possible ahead of time and choosing dishes that can be served at room temperature to eliminate last-minute cooking.

Accept all offers of food. “Go to your party plan, and say yes,” Moyle says. Bringing food or beverages “will make them feel a part of the party.”

If a friend makes an hors d’oeuvre to die for or cookies that rival the creations of a professional pastry chef, accept the offer and lavish heaps of praise on them at the party. They just made you look good!

No one really needs to know what you made and what you bought. In fact, many hosts pass off everything as homemade, even though some caterer did the slaving. If you go this route, be prepared to change the subject swiftly when the guest asks you for the recipe.

* Never apologize. Julia Child once said that there is hardly a flopped dessert that can’t be salvaged by some judiciously plopped whipped cream. You put forth your best effort. If anything goes wrong, greet it with a sense of humor. Conversely, accept all compliments with a smile and a simple “thank you.”