LAUGH LINES

Trying Times: Senators are reviewing videotaped testimony of three witnesses in the impeachment case. “They want to see Vernon Jordan, Sidney Blumenthal and Monica Lewinsky. Or, as they call them, see no evil, hear no evil and dry clean no evil.” (Bill Maher)

Trying Times II: “The only way this thing could be more boring is if it was Al Gore’s impeachment.” (Jay Leno)

On the Stump: Elizabeth Dole’s hometown held a rally to convince her to run for president. “At one point, the crowd started yelling, ‘Run, Liddy, run! Run, Liddy, run!’ And she got all excited until someone in the crowd told her that her husband, Bob Dole, had just taken a Viagra.” (Leno)

Super Failure: “The Atlanta Falcons only had one opportunity to score, and she turned out to be an undercover vice cop.” (David Letterman)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

Names that rhyme with Elway:

9. Ebay.

7. Who goes looking for hookers the night before the Super Bowl-Ay?

5. El Wayne Newton.

4. L. Ron Hubbard.

3. Old Guy.

2. Elewinsky.

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