TV Time: Are You Part of the Picture?

You learned you were having a baby. So you read all the books, watched all the videos, took all the classes to master the challenging job ahead. But you found the best answers usually came from--other parents.

So, now that you’re a parent-expert too, we asked you about the secret of successful TV watching--or not. Here’s what you said:

Kids don’t miss what they’ve never had.

When my older son was born, I made a conscious decision to turn the TV off. . . . Now I have two kids who love to read!

We listen to NPR at the breakfast table in the morning, and I now have a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old who fight over the front-page section of the newspaper--the L.A. Times, of course!

--VICKY STEELE, Oak Park

When my daughter was 18 months old, I read an article by a television ad exec who stated, “Give me your child until age 6, and we will own them for life.”

“Not my child!” I swore.

Only allowed to watch age-appropriate public television and noncommercial videos . . . and [later] minimal, supervised exposure to network television . . . now, at age 11, she watches shows she likes but enjoys reading more.

--DEBBY SMITH, Redondo Beach

Oh, please, I tire of this controversy. Growing up, I watched as much television as I wanted; so did my wife. Now with five degrees from Harvard and Stanford between us, I imagine we turned out OK.

The issue is not how much TV is permissible. The more relevant questions are: Do you read to your child? Do you spend quality time with her? Are parent and child involved in extracurricular activities together? If the answer is yes, you’ll find that your kid will spend minimal time in front of the tube.

--MANUEL MEDRANO, Glendale

Out of sight is out of mind, so our television is kept in a closet.

When my kids were toddlers, they played with water in the sink, drew pictures or played on the floor while I made dinner so we could talk. As they grew, no one ever thought to watch TV, and now all three are highly creative children who love nature, reading, writing, making things and talking!

--LAURA PETERS, Studio City

To help live with less television, bring home loads of library books--fiction and nonfiction. Help your children rediscover toys they had forgotten. Help them learn to enjoy quiet time. But do not feel it is your job to provide constant entertainment.

--SUSAN OSTROWSKY, Corona del Mar

My children are only allowed to watch TV in the morning after they are dressed, fed and completely ready for school. In the evening, they are allowed to watch if they have finished their homework, cleaned their room and not argued with me that day.

--MELINDA S. GARCIA, South Pasadena

TV rules depend on parents’ values. Our daughter watched only prescreened videos with us until age 2 1/2. When she began to demand it, we made a rule: At age 4, she can watch only two days a week, up to one hour each. When she complains incessantly, we cancel the next TV day. We stick to the rules, and so does she.

--ANYA VAN LEEUWEN, Mission Viejo

There is a considerable amount of thought and planning involved in creating the proper atmosphere for children in our house. . . . Television viewing on weekdays is allowed only directly after school, for not more than 1 1/2 hours. . . . Reading, games and outdoor play should take up most of a child’s day.

--JANICE MARKEY, Orange

Limit kids’ TV watching to favorite shows. Turn on the TV--tuned to the right station--a minute or two before the program starts. When it’s over, turn off the TV--no channel-surfing--and begin another activity. And parents need to set an example.

--SASHA LILLIE, Los Angeles

Thirty years ago, when TV was booming as the latest in “entertainment centers,” I had five children, ages 4 to 9. Summer vacation arrived. . . . symptoms of boredom showed up in punching matches and cookie raids. I suggested some options.

They chose two programs per day, one morning, one evening; a favorite was “Gilligan’s Island.” They’ve since praised that decision and talk about all the adventures they enjoyed creating their own island, where they thrived for long, happy, creative hours.

--BARBARA M. FISCHER, Ventura

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The next question: Last week, the Clintons said they “deeply regretted” People magazine’s decision to run a cover story on Chelsea, 19, and appealed to other media to respect her privacy. Not that most of us face the media, but how about a mean classmate, or an unresponsive coach, a too-tough college professor. When do you, as a parent, stop “protecting” your child--or does it ever stop? When should you step in?

Please share your strategies with us in 75 words or fewer by Friday. Send to Parental Guidance (PG), Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053; e-mail socalliving@latimes.com or fax (213) 237-0732. Please include your name, hometown and phone.