Why Jokes for a Living? It Really Was Just His Bag

Actor and comedian John Henton plays a character named Milsap on the clay-animated TV comedy “The Hughleys” (ABC), but, oh, the career that could have been. Supermarket bagger? Systems analyst? We caught up with him during a lunch break.

Question: What were you doing right before you decided to try comedy?

Answer: Oh, let’s see. I was going to [Ohio State University], and then in the summer I came home and I got a job in a paint factory.

Q: Doing what?

A: I helped make paint--can the paint and put labels on. I worked in the warehouse. It wasn’t busy work all the time. So I was always making jokes. This was early ‘80s, and MTV was all the rage, so we watched videos and talked about that and joked around about horror movies--different things that later became part of my act.

Q: How did you make the transition from a paint warehouse to the stage?

A: There was an article in the paper about stand-up comedy, and at the end it said they had amateur night on Sundays. I got dared on a Friday, went down there on a Sunday and I’ve been doing comedy ever since. First time I went, it was a little bit too dirty for the room. It was some dirty, you know, warehouse material. They said that was a bit strong but try it again. Next week I toned it down and won the amateur night, and that was it.

I never ended up going back to Ohio State. I just wanted to be a comedian, you know, and I was getting a good response. I’d get a gig to go to Pittsburgh and pick up more money than I would make working five days at the warehouse plus overtime, you know? I did that for a couple of years. Then I moved out to L.A. in ’85.

Q: How did you support yourself when you first came out here?

A: I worked at HBO, in the mail room.

Q: The mail room? This is classic, John.

A: I worked in the mail room. Just sorting mail. You’d sit in the back, and you look at the trays and say, “One day, maybe.” You know, lookin’ through Variety and who’s got this-and-that deal and how much are they paying him--”Oh, God, I’m funnier than . . .” Hell, just bein’ bitter in the mail room.

Q: What were you studying in college?

A: I was taking business with the emphasis on computer science because I wanted to be a systems analyst. If you think about it, I would have graduated Ohio State in ’82. By now I’d have been a 20-year vet, traveling and being a systems analyst, being like a trouble-shooter, and that would get me out of the office. That one didn’t work out, and I ended up just telling jokes. Funny how that works out.

Q: What kind of work did your mom and dad do?

A: My mom, she worked making parts for Navy ships. My dad worked in a factory for most of his life. Later on, he was a union representative.

Q: Were you a cutup when you were a kid?

A: No. When I told my mom I was doing stand-up, she said, “Well, you can’t be a stand-up comic, because you have to talk to do that.” I was pretty introverted.

Q: What was your very first paying job?

A: First job I ever had--baggin’ groceries. That was the first and the worst. It lasted all of three hours.

Q: Three hours?

A: I couldn’t handle it. It was just ridiculous. People start hollering at me.

Q: Why were they hollering at you?

A: Because I didn’t bag correctly or something, and then you had people shakin’ their finger.

Q: Maybe you didn’t ask “paper or plastic?”

A: Oh, at that time it was just paper. This is a long time ago. You have to understand, Candace, there was no plastic.

Q: How old were you?

A: I think I was 11 or 12. I’m like, “No. No. The Man is tryin’ to bring me down.” I was a rebel back then. It was, “No. I don’t like this job thing.”

Q: What’d your mom say? Didn’t she get mad at you?

A: Yeah, she was mad, but I said, “Hey, they were hollerin’ at me,” and I just gave her that look. I’m her only son, and I’m spoiled. Dad, now, that was another thing. But once I worked on Mom, so that she could get Dad in order, then it all worked out.

Q: Three hours.

A: The three-hour bag man. But I want you to know those were the hardest three hours working in my life. I put my heart and soul into that.

Q: John, don’t you have to be back on the set by now? It’s already 10 minutes after 2.

A: Yeah, I do, and they just called me, but, you know me. I’m a rebel, see, just like at the grocery store, baby.

Q: Uh-huh. This’ll be another three-hour job.

A: That’s true. Maybe I better go to work. I don’t think Mom will be so understanding if I lose this job.

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Whatever Works runs every Monday.