Domestic Affairs Edge Out Foreign Ones

I don’t know if you noticed it, but there is no foreign news anymore. Someone has decided Americans aren’t interested in what is happening overseas.

The editors are guessing we would much rather know about events in Washington and Hollywood.

Ordinarily, this could be a problem because Americans should be well-informed as to what is going on all over the globe. Instead, that time on the news is devoted to a new pill for seasickness.

While on the one hand this is a downer, there is a big plus in not knowing what is going on. If you are not aware of a crisis, it is not a crisis.

Let us take the country of Dimbledee. Its government has been overthrown three times this year. The north has attacked the south, and the east has attacked the west. There are refugees everywhere, food is in short supply, and there are reports of typhoons coming in from the Atlantic.

None of this has reached any of the evening news shows because of the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

But a few in Washington are concerned.

Doug Bibby of the CIA says to his team, “Should we release the details of what is going on in Dimbledee?”

His aide says, “The State Department insists we keep it secret. If what is going on there gets out, we’ll have to do something about it. If nobody knows, then we don’t have to act.”

“Are you telling me that our foreign policy is to sweep everything under the rug so that we’re not obligated to prevent something from happening that has already happened?”

“That’s the policy. The way to avoid another Vietnam is not to know Vietnam is a major threat. Fortunately, the American people no longer care what is going on in the world unless it affects the price of coffee or Hondas.”

“It makes sense. Then mum’s the word. We’ll feed the networks more stuff on the Salt Lake City Olympics scandal.”