British Lads Quickly Adjust to Hollywood Time

This is a warning: Lads will be lads.

That ought to frighten you naive Americans who haven’t heard of Britain’s latest export, “laddism,” the triumph of that naughty Y-chromosome factor in pop culture across the pond.

Here’s an example of laddism in action. Take a bunch of young blokes starring in Gramercy Pictures’ black-comedy sleeper “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.” Try getting them in a car. Visualize clowns in a Volkswagen. Wait 40 minutes, then blend well into Sony’s Cary Grant Theatre, where the opening-night crowd has been waiting for the curtain to go up.

Talk about out-Hollywooding Hollywood. Please. Don’t try this at home.

Unless you’re Madonna, that is. The boy-toy expert has been toying with her own personal export, according to the British press, which has linked her with “Lock, Stock” writer-director Guy Ritchie. Madonna, whose Maverick label is releasing the movie’s soundtrack in the U.S., was schmoozing with Ritchie at Tuesday’s premiere bash at Smashbox, which is apparently her way of resting up after crisply shooing away photographers.

Nearby were a few of the film’s producers, including Trudie Styler, who recruited her husband, Sting, for a small role, and Steve Tisch, who was exulting in the film’s smashing success abroad--something Miramax’s Harvey Weinstein didn’t foresee when he passed on the film early on.

“Harvey says he didn’t get it,” Tisch said. “And as recently as Friday, he wrote me a note saying he blew it. I reminded him that he didn’t blow it because he’s going into March 21 with 13 Academy Award nominations, and I’m really thrilled for him.”

Love ya, babe. Let’s do lunch.

Tuesday’s high-powered frolicking wasn’t bad for lads who couldn’t get arrested when they began hawking their Tarantino-esque film about criminal wannabes. Their secret? Tom Cruise. Styler enlisted Cruise to attend a screening in July at Sony, and voila! Distribution.

“[The film executives] had a heart attack when he walked in the room,” said producer Matthew Vaughn (son of actor Robert). “He put his seal of approval on the film, and then, like a catalyst, whack, it went off. It tells you about the film industry. Sadly.”

It’s not what you know. It’s who comes to your screenings.

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In Hollywood, you know who your friends are. Jenifer Estess, who was stricken with Lou Gehrig’s disease less than two years ago, knows because they showed up in force recently for her new charity, Project A.L.S., which sponsored L.A.’s biggest benefit ever to find answers for the crippling, fatal illness.

Raleigh Studios was alive with the sound of stars like Kristen Johnson, Ben Stiller, Rob Morrow, Marisa Tomei, William H. Macy, Steven Weber, Helen Hunt, Greg Kinnear, Janeane Garofalo, Brooke Shields, Courteney Cox, Melissa Etheridge and Randy Newman. They turned out at the behest of the 37-year-old Estess, a former publicist and theater-film producer.

“When I became ill and realized there were no treatments, my sisters and I decided we would create a passion around this disease,” Estess told us.

Larry Winokur, Estess’ friend and former employer, says she has inspired Hollywood to rally around a cause that never had many proponents. And Estess knew what she was up against. Before she was stricken, she helped promote the Muscular Dystrophy Assn. as a publicist at Baker, Winokur, Ryder.

“Finally there’s a touchstone, Jenifer, that young, influential people can gather around,” Winokur said. “She knows that before the disease robs her of all her neuromuscular abilities, she’s going to pull out the stops and try to leave as her legacy a heightened awareness.”

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Marta Domingo, Placido’s wife and the director of the L.A. Opera’s production of “La Traviata,” isn’t big on fat opera stars. Romantic figures in opera should have romantic figures, as tasty as those of movie stars, she told us at Sunday’s Valentine’s opening-night benefit gala at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.

Maybe so, but the stately Carol Vaness, who starred as the star-crossed Violetta, looked every inch a diva that evening. Southern Californian aesthetes were delighted to welcome back one of their own at the elegant post-opera gala, chaired by Mary Hayley and Selim K. Zilkha. Vaness grew up in L.A., but her parents are ailing and unlikely to see this production.

“My mother probably wouldn’t come anyway,” she said. “She came to ‘Traviata’ once and was so upset it took her years before she’d come to another opera because she just didn’t want to see me die. I kept telling her, ‘I don’t die in “Cosi fan tutte.” Come, it’s OK.’ ”

Irene Lacher’s Out & About column runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays on Page 2.