How to Put a Cork in Even the Boldest Whines

We asked you about The Whine. Here’s what you said:

For young children, I prefer two situational responses. In public (and around in-laws), repeating, broken-record style: “I can’t understand you when you make that sound.”

In private, when tantrums start, throw yourself on the floor, kicking, pounding your fists and crying out. The child will either be so stunned or so amused, they’ll forget what they were whining about.

For older children or teens, just reverse the above responses to the whining situation. A teen will never whine in public again, and you’ll likely get a standing ovation from other parents of teens. It’s worked for me.

--C. COLLINS, San Clemente

My daughter, now 19, made a couple of attempts at whining early on. I firmly announced (and stuck with) the official family policy: “If you drop it now, you may get your way. If you whine, you most definitely will not.”

Imagine my surprise and pleasure when I overheard her counseling her younger brother on his first attempt: “Whatever you do, don’t whine. It doesn’t work with her.”

--MAUREEN MAHER

Laguna Beach

We nicknamed our oldest son, Michael, “Whiner.” Yes it was at times nerve-racking . . . [but] we must allow our children to be themselves. Telling a child not to whine doesn’t stop the child from whining.

My other two sons never whined. They all turned out to be fine adult human beings. And now that Michael is president of his company, nobody is complaining about his whining when he was a kid. Now I have six grandchildren and two are whiners. Whine or no whine, they all deserve our unconditional love.

--BENNY WASSERMAN

La Palma

When my kids were adolescents, a friend told me his parents would tell him and his siblings: “I can’t hear you when you whine. . . .”

I thought maybe that worked because the kids were pretty little at the time of the advice, but I tried it on mine who were in the 9- to 12-year-old range, and unbelievably, they would stop midsentence!

--MONICA MAROTTA

Woodland Hills

There’s no secret about whining. Children do it to get what they want. If you give them what they whine for, they will continue to use this most annoying of noises.

My rule is simple: While polite and well-spoken wishes may, at times, convince me to change my mind, even the hint of a whine makes me unfailingly rigid.

It usually only takes a few weeks into the school year before my students realize that, in my classroom, whiners never win.

--LISA LEE, San Diego

Our 6-year-old daughter’s whining lasted a very short time because we told her she could whine if she chose to, but she would have to do it alone in her room. . . . She would stay in her room about three or four minutes, then come out.

Whining alone wasn’t any fun!

--JUNE MALECEK

Van Nuys

I don’t know about older children (mine are 3 and 6), but I’ve had the most success at stopping whining by using humor.

I pretend I see a mouse inside their mouth and then make a big deal about removing it. Usually they are laughing so hard they forget what they are whining about.

--WENDY VELASCO

Whittier

The next question: It’s another rainy day. You’ve been inside for eons. You’ve done the board games, you’ve watched the movies, you’ve baked cookies. Now what? Share with us the best way to spend a rainy day, or what makes good entertainment for all ages in your house.

Please share your strategies with us in 75 words or fewer by Friday. Each Monday, we’ll ask a new parenting question, and publish responses on a subsequent Monday. Send to Parental Guidance (PG), SoCal Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053; e-mail socalliving@latimes.com or fax (213) 237-0732. Please include your name, hometown and phone number. Submissions cannot be returned. No telephone calls, please.