When Virginia Talks Trash, New York Listens

The good news for Virginia is that there are strong indications that it will soon receive New York’s trash.

While the contract has yet to be signed, the decision is almost in the bag.

Many states were vying for the tons and tons of waste, and Virginia environmentalists were thrilled to win the contest.

One Richmond trash booster told me, “It’s like winning the Olympics. For New York to bestow this honor on us when there are so many places vying for its garbage is a waste management dream come true.”

What made the state one of the favorites is that New York has supplied Virginia with 60% of its trash in the past.

The selection team said this was a factor because Virginia knows how to handle garbage. It is skilled at separating bottles from cans and paper from Hustler magazines. The New York trash chairman said, “We made a personal visit to the site, and we discovered Virginia dumps are everything they claim to be. Only New Jersey has better trash dumps, but we would have had to wait until 2006 to get an empty site.”

I raised the question--which was natural after the Salt Lake City Olympics scandal--if Virginia officials had bribed anyone to get New York’s waste.

The answer was, “No. The fact that the New York committee received free tickets to Williamsburg is strictly coincidental.”

“Was any trash traded for sex?” I asked. “Not that we know of. But sometimes you can’t separate one from the other.”

One of the major complaints of Virginians is that if they keep accepting out-of-state garbage, there won’t be any room left to dump their own.

New York’s reply is, “They’re talking about apples and oranges.”