Please Deliver Us From Cell Phones

I will never purchase a cellular phone.

You can’t get away from the stupid things. Whether you’re enjoying a play or a movie in a theater, listening to a sermon in church, or making use of a public washroom, you are as likely as not to be interrupted by a cellular phone.

First, of course, it rings, which shatters the atmosphere right there. But then the person answers it and proceeds to converse in a normal tone, completely oblivious to the fact that he or she is disturbing others.

And these calls are seldom emergencies. Their sole purpose is to make the phone owner feel important. (“Look at me. I’m so essential that I can’t leave my phone even for minute.”) I know there are good uses for cellular phones. Quick reporting of car accidents (many probably caused by people talking on the phone instead of watching the road), checking with your spouse to see if you need a certain grocery item (which you didn’t write down, because you figured you could always phone), these are valid--sort of.

But what about those of us who don’t want cellular phones in our lives? Do we have rights? Can we request that restaurants be divided into “phoning” and “non-phoning” sections? Can certain places, such as church, be designated as “no-phoning zones?” Or are noisy and ubiquitous phone calls just another obnoxious habit we must put up with?

No, we must protest. Let these voices not be heard.