A Boost in the Bosom Is a Click Away
Dorothy clicked her heels three times and only went back to Kansas. Wearers of the new Victoria’s Secret bra can click three times and go to the moon.
It’s called the Click Miracle Bra. And it’s designed to provide women with more sexy cleavage at the push of a button. Figuratively speaking, the bra can take you from Calista Flockhart to Pamela Lee (even after her implants were taken out) by manipulating the handy dandy clicker.
Click, click, click.
But take it easy, fellas; this clicker isn’t the remote control variety. No sitting back on the subway or in a bar and clicking randomly, looking for bazooms to rise like zeppelins.
No, the click component is hidden discreetly in the front of the bra, at the very epicenter of amplitude possibility. It allows the wearer to create three levels of cleavage by simply pressing the clicker. Click once for hello, twice for hubba hubba, three times for make ‘em beg.
This marvel of engineering is brought to you by (who else?) the same company whose push-up angels unleashed the mighty Miracle Bra five years ago. The new bra went on sale recently in more than 800 Victoria’s Secret stores nationwide.
“We are constantly looking for innovative technological advances in foundations,” said Monica Mitro, vice president for public relations for Victoria’s Secret.
Though it just hit stores, Mitro said the Click has been the company’s fastest-selling bra since its introduction. The company won’t give out sales figures, but apparently there’s a whole lot of clicking going on.
The Click Bra may be the brassiere of the millennium, but its concept is hardly new. In 2000 BC, the women of Crete wore corsets that supported their breasts at the base and thrust them upward and outward.
Four thousand years later, the idea hasn’t changed much. The Miracle Bra’s concept was to create cleavage by the use of vertically angled pads that push the breasts inward and upward. It remains one of the company’s bestselling bras. The Click, a version of the Miracle, also features removable pads (called “cookies” in the foundations industry) as well as the 1-2-3 clicking mechanism. The bra doesn’t change the cup size but simply pushes and lifts. Voila, instant cleavage!
“A woman would never want to be uncomfortable or look smashed,” Mitro said. “It’s to create a beautiful decolletage.”
So how does it feel?
A friend took the Click on a test drive recently and had mixed feelings. At $42, it is nearly four times what she’s used to spending for a bra--a definite minus. She also reported that the bra’s construction (under wire and cookies) felt too rigid. “It feels like I’m wearing a plate of armor,” she said. “When I wear a bra, I don’t like to feel that it’s there.”
As for the enhancing capabilities, the Click delivered. Still, she would never buy the bra. Not simply because it felt uncomfortable (the clicker stuck in her chest), but because she felt guilty: “It’s false advertising,” she said.
The Click was in development for several years before Victoria’s Secret launched it. A similar clicker bra, from a company called Triumph, has been on the market for about a year in Europe. Besides being a technological advancement in bra design, the Clicker also represents a clever novelty.
When asked what the next bra breakthrough would be, Mitro jokingly suggested a Clapper Bra. You know: clap on, clap off.
Sounds good to us. Clap, clap, clap.
