Looks Like a Brilliant Deduction

You’ve no doubt heard about the kinder, gentler Internal Revenue Service that has emerged after some well publicized complaints from taxpayers. Accountant John Grennan of Redondo Beach has observed the change himself. The IRS acknowledged that one of his clients had claimed a rather large amount in deductions (see accompanying). And was the IRS suspicious? Not at all. After all, what’s $7 billion between friends?

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TELLERS BUT NO SPELLERS: Which reminded me of a grammatically challenged note from a bank that Ian Rubenstein of Palm Desert shared with me. It said:

“To Whom It May Concern: When You were in and made a deposit, you had wrote down the amount wrong the second time around. I am send a copy of it. Please make a change in your books.”

Added Rubenstein: “I made a change--I changed banks.”

Too bad you can’t do that with the IRS.

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DUH! COMPETITION: Walter Colley of Arcadia noticed a sign in a parking lot that tells drivers something they probably could have figured out (see photo). Then again, the wall in the background did have a couple of blocks missing.

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SUNGLASSES, BUT NO SUN: Though he’s lived in the Southland off and on for more than a decade, Claes Andreasson, a foreign correspondent for Swedish National Public Radio, continues to marvel at local customs. Take one prohibition in the DMV handbook: “Never wear dark glasses or sunglasses at night.”

Commented Andreasson: “I know I live close to Tinseltown, and I realize that the DMV would probably not put it in the handbook if it wasn’t a problem, but do people really drive with sunglasses at night?”

Maybe that’s the reason that “No Thru Traffic” signs have to be placed in front of walls.

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KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, EXCEPT . . . : Andreasson was also intrigued by an ordinance in affluent San Marino that forbids spitting on streets, sidewalks and alleys. He learned that the ban against expectorating in alleys is not enforced. Why? A city official told him: “Joggers going down the alleys have to be able to spit somewhere.”

Luckily for joggers, sweating is also permitted in the city.

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CREDIT DUE: In quoting excerpts from the crime logs of two “Westside” newspapers this week, I should have been more specific and identified them as the Culver City Chronicle and the Westsider.

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AS IF KILLER BEES AND FIRE ANTS WEREN’T ENOUGH: Jack Crickard of Glendale, a retired Superior Court judge, asked me to warn readers about a serious type of infestation that can occur in swimming pools.

“We had a large pool that we had drained for repairs,” he said. “Upon returning to our house one afternoon, we found two teenaged kids with their skateboards climbing over our locked backyard fence gate in order to get at the drained pool. We had to chase them away twice.”

miscelLAny:

Doris Castanares was amused by a parenthetical note in a mail-order ad for a coffee steeper. The ad said: “Make freshly brewed coffee anywhere with this handy 1-cup steeper. Simply fill it with ground coffee, stir it into a cup of hot water (not included), and you have delicious coffee in minutes!” Castanares observed, “I guess a cup of hot water would be hard to ship.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.