LAUGH LINES

After Monica: It’s rumored that Barbara Walters wants to interview Kenneth Starr. “I didn’t even know Clinton had sex with Ken Starr. When did that happen?” (Jay Leno)

On the Campaign Trail: Hillary Clinton may run for New York’s U.S. Senate seat. “Looks like it takes a Greenwich Village.” (Allan Jay Weiss)

Off the Campaign Trail: Former Gov. Pete Wilson announced he won’t run for president for the good of his family. “He shouldn’t sell himself short. That decision is good for the whole country.” (Steve Voldseth)

Praising the Victim: Health and Human Services Secretary Donna Shalala fended off an attacker at an ATM. “To protect herself, she fell to the ground in the fetal position and started screaming and kicking, which is something all women who work for Clinton are trained to do.” (Leno)

Praising the Victim II: “This will be the first time ever a member of the Clinton Cabinet has appeared in court as a victim instead of the defendant.” (Leno)

Singing the Blues: Country singer George Jones was injured in a car crash. “Police say two factors contributed to the crash: (1) Jones lost control while talking on a cell phone, and (2) crap like this always happens to country singers.” (Daily Scoop)

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