Outfitting a Wedding for the Ages

With spring upon us, it’s no wonder the wedding letters are piling up. So grab some Jordan almonds. Here we go:

Dear Fashion Police: Our daughter is getting married for the first time at 43. The groom is about 60, and we are in our mid- to late 70s. This will probably be a simple afternoon wedding with one attendant. I am 5 feet 2, 110 pounds, and “blond.” Her father has a medium build and pure white hair. What should we all wear in order to look tastefully dressed, but not too young or trying to overdo it?

--MOM OF BRIDE

Dear Mom: Hmmm . . . tasteful, not too young . . . that nixes dressing as your favorite Teletubby.

Since this won’t be a huge formal wedding, we suggest a short dress or suit for the bride in white or off-white. For the groom, a dark suit, white shirt and silk tie.

For you we suggest a nice suit (not too tailored) or dress in a lightweight wool, silk or linen. Keep it simple--no beaded embellishments, feathers, sequins, etc. A hat, if you choose to wear one, should be small, with no gigantic faux cabbage roses. If your daughter is going to have a theme color or palette, you may want to coordinate your outfit with that. As for your husband, a suit in a charcoal gray, black or navy blue will do fine. He can add color with his tie and shirt if he likes.

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Dear Fashion Police: I’m an older bride on my second wedding, and I’d like some suggestions for a dress. It will be in May, at 5 p.m., in a church, and informal. I’m thinking of a cocktail suit for me, but I’m puzzled as to color. I am not finding petites in mother-of-the-bride type dresses. Are white dinner jackets appropriate for the groom and best man?

--PUZZLED BRIDE-TO-BE

Dear Puzzled: First of all, hon, no white dinner jackets. That’s getting into semiformal territory, not informal. A navy, black or gray suit will be fine for the groom and best man. As for you, try Talbots for some great suits in petites. Suitable colors include dusty pink, pale blue, sage green or light yellow. Just don’t go too mother-of-the-bride--some MOB styles lean toward dowdy, and you want to look like the most ravishing creature who ever walked down the aisle, no matter what your age.

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Dear Fashion Police: My daughter is planning an early-afternoon wedding at the end of April. What fashion advice do you have for the groom’s and groomsmen’s attire?

--DEDICATED TO DETAILS

Dear Dedicated: Suits, and nothing but the suits. Since we trust this won’t be a formal wedding (we won’t go there again, but you know what we mean), you simply can’t go wrong with a lightweight wool suit in gray or navy (black might look too severe for that time of day). A white shirt and silk tie will finish the look. Groomsmen should wear a different color suit to distinguish themselves from the groom.

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Dear Fashion Police: I will be getting married in April in a romantic Spanish-style courtyard garden. We’re expecting about 40 guests. I just ordered a white satin wedding gown with a train. My mother thinks that this type of formal gown belongs in a church, not a garden. Can the train be altered or buttoned up to prevent it from dragging on the ground?

--MISSING THE TRAIN

Dear Miss: We asked bridal gown authority Renee Strauss of Renee Strauss for the Bride in Beverly Hills for her take on this issue.

“A wedding is something you’ve waited for for a lifetime,” she said, “and it should reflect your own personal style. It shouldn’t be about another person’s opinion, and the ambience of the wedding shouldn’t dictate the style of your dress.”

In other words, don’t get your knickers in a knot over this. If you really love the gown and the train is an integral part of the design and isn’t outrageously long (say, 10 feet or so), then keep it. If you’re worried about the dress getting dirty, runners are available at floral supply stores.

But if you’re set on shortening it, it can be done. Strauss suggested either cutting and re-hemming the train or bustling it up with buttons and loop buttonholes, which will give the dress a “full, flowing effect.” The train can be let down later for pictures if necessary.

Write to Fashion Police, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or fax to (213) 237-4888.